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Friday, June 14, 2024

From "Ugly Duckling" to "Beautiful Swan"

As someone who has lived as what's considered ugly and as what's considered beautiful, I am compelled to let you know that I had better luck in love (or, well, in actually having loving relationships), when I was what, at most, would be rated a 5/10.

I didn't have as many people pretending to be something they're not to get my attention and have me invested in them. It may seem flattering, but it gets old fast and becomes burdensome instead (if not nightmarish). Maybe it wouldn't be so much if I capitalized on it, but I don't. So what I'm left with is just a frustrating and draining experience. And that's more the case if you're inherently, or through early adaptation, someone who prefers to have immense love from a single person than being desirable by a high number of people (most of which probably don't even see you for you).

Do I have "pretty privilege"? I'm not sure to what extent but, for me, the best I'm getting out of it is simply not being constantly harrassed about not being pretty enough. At what cost, though. At what cost...

As someone who wasn't visually appealing, I used to only happen to end up talking with someone and they'd find out, "Oh, you're actually quite interesting and nice to be around." And either a friendship or something more would be born out of that that was at least genuine.

But when you're visually appealing? Love bombers. Love bombers everywhere. Beware.