Cats Hanging Out, Luv, Luv, Luv

In a more wholesome note, I absolutely love it when there's a huge group of cats and they're hanging out with each other, having fun and more. It doesn't bother me at all to go "ignored". I don't even take it like that. It's only bad if they're being lil' jerks or plotting against me somehow. And sad if not a single one wanted to come up to me at any point (cuz wth?). But I'm not a very social person, not very energetic in general, so I do well with minimal interactions. In fact, it is awesome that they can be friends. 💗

Writing Like Nobody's Reading

A friend and I used to do a lot of creative writing together. We’d go all in, draw our OCs, and more. I miss those days. We wrote for ourselves. Not even an afterthought of whether or not it’d be well-received by anyone else. Just exploring and examining our psyches through the characters, the dynamics, the plots, and overall, the storytelling. I miss those days. However, I could only allow myself that kind of ‘leisure’ because it was a much-needed healing activity and not merely a want. An Art teacher I respected recommended it to me - and I took his advice. So we both tended to our wounds, voids, and messes through art.

And now here I am, with ever-expanding universes within me. The passage of time is currently annoying me more than ever. I wish I could walk through every meaningful portal there is to walk through. But the reality is that time is running out. Therefore, I ought to be wise and pick the most important ones before I no longer can.

Also, I got the purple-aura person in my life to thank for literally saving my life and letting me have the space, without rushing, to restore myself after, on more levels than ever, having died. I didn’t get my dream of going to the Chavón Art School and then Parsons School of Design fulfilled like I was aspiring to, in order to eventually achieve renowned success. Instead, I ended up on a weirder path and, frankly, I wouldn’t trade it. (Still pissed off at the people and situations that detoured and/or delayed me for no good reason, though, but making the best of what I can/should regardless.)

So, yep, life has a lot of twists and turns. Just happy for what’s coming together at last…

What a Road Trip!

The last 3+ years have been WILD beyond my IMAGINATION. I literally cannot put it into words, but OH MY GOD. Life is really something and I am glad to be alive to witness and experience it!

Before all of this, things were… let’s just say, quite tough. I’ve had hard and difficult times lately, but it was years ago when I was hit to the point of fully breaking while being pretty much defenseless. It is interesting now, though. As someone who’s always trying to be optimistic or at least see a silver lining or a light at the end at the tunnel, there were moments I wholeheartedly despised. And while I was aware of much of the help I was fortunate to receive, and grateful for it, I had NO idea just how much exactly was coming my way. And what an amazing surprise that people I crossed paths with then, under those circumstances, are now people I cannot (and do not want to) see myself without ever.

Let us forever be adventurers in this messed-up world that is ever-changing, with new and different obstacles to overcome and challenges to face, as we continue to grow stronger, wiser, braver, and more prepared for anything that’s to come.

Looking Back, Something was Missing...

Even though it’s too late, spilling my heart just to get it off my chest…

Y’all wouldn’t believe how much of a weirdo I was growing up. I WAS SO OBSESSED WITH MUSIC. I have been singing and dancing since I first could, at home, and then joined classes/teams as soon as I had the chance, at school. I was doing songwriting before I wrote anything else, too.

It was so lonely, though. I could never quite find somebody who was as into it as I was. I imagine what it would have been like if I had met then a person who’d enjoy dancing and singing like I did and was willing to give it their all. It would have been glorious even if we didn’t get anywhere with it. We would have listened to Blink 182 and other bands together too, as my emo “phase” began. And I wouldn't have been so down about how I could never see a girl who looked more like me in the music videos that spoke about love...

What a Mixed Bag

I’ve learned from being overly planned and from being overly laidback. Neither I would recommend if you’re anything like me. One can be suffocating, stressful, and infuriating while the other can make me lose touch with all that matters and that gets me going. Yet, at the moment, I’m leaning more towards being planned and, while I believe I’m giving myself enough leeway and flexibility, life can still be quite surprising - for better or for worse! But I’m optimistic I’ll be able to handle what’s thrown at me next. If not on my own, with the priceless support that I have. Not knowing what might happen can be paralyzing if you expect to have everything under control, but I’m aiming to just make the most of however much is in my hands. And fingers crossed that things won’t get too hectic and/or alarming, so I can keep it together as I take it in strides. I’m still somewhat in preparation for bigger and better things, but don’t want to fully close myself off to great opportunities either. It’s unbelievable the amount of totally unexpected things that have happened in the past few years. Literally unbelievable. But that just goes to show again how amazing life can be when you let it.