“Love yourself.” Yes, but there’s more to it. How do you go about it? Are you supposed to ignore and excuse all your faults and shortcomings or should you be interpreting this differently?
Turns out, it is hard and difficult to “love yourself” when there are things about you that you legitimately do not like and will not sincerely like no matter how much you attempt to. And that’s okay, because some of our traits do not define us. They are there temporarily and maybe they are merely situational. Something you’re meant to shed at some point. And doing so would reveal more of who you truly are or even take you closer to the best version of you.
So self-acceptance, in this case, isn’t about staying where you are exactly as you are. It is about facing yourself, coming to terms with what is in front of you right at this moment, and allowing it to exist without denial unless or until you can move past it.
When you take yourself as you are, you accept that you have a history; a past that led you to this present and a future that you have a hand in shaping. How strict or indulgent you are from there is up to you. Yet, there is quite a wide range that remains within what is reasonable and what you can fully, without any lies or delusions, embrace.
You would have to take into account your limits. How far can you go without it being of any harm or risk to yourself? Furthermore, how far can you go while still being authentically you, in touch with and connected to your core and the essence of who you are, rather than putting it on hold to fabricate a different persona? You would also have to take into account your taste. What do you genuinely prefer? What is a reflection of your own style? What are your vibes? How do you let your unique Self shine through?
Being regretful, filled with shame and guilt, about choices that you’ve made is to be expected. You will have to work through those too. Remember that it all went down as it went because that’s what it all came to. But does it have to be repeated or can (and will) you choose differently next time?
And speaking of being the total of the sum of everything... Comparisons with others are useless and bound to be counterproductive unless they’re for reference and inspiration to further achieve what suits you, not for basing your personal worth on. Getting discouraged and looking down on yourself isn’t going to help you.
Take it in chunks or in bits. See what you are keeping and what you are getting rid of. Where you currently are isn’t as important as where you’re heading. Once you set yourself on that frame, you’ll have little to no trouble handling imperfections and “imperfections”.