Ballerina (2025)

I’ve seen John Wick, I had to see Ballerina. Not only that. Watch and rewatch all the movies that came before it, but in the proper storyline order. My only regret is that my week wasn’t freer for it (I was in between trips, meetings, and parties). But maybe next time there is a remarkable marathon to be had, I’ll be fully prepared to fully devote to it.

  SPOILER ALERT!   Keep reading at your own risk. There are spoilers ahead... 

Evanescence's Fight Like A Girl

I was so pleasantly surprised by this coming together. Both Evanescence and the John Wick’s franchise have especially stood out to me in terms of being empowering. So, of course, I was immediately drawn back in. Thrilled to see what else it brings.

I’ll never get tired of this type of ambiance and the vibes that come with it. The grungy, graffiti-covered, dimly and neon-lit night streets, with reflective ponds during or after the rain. That ‘underground’ state that is hardcore and badass, where black clothing and combat boots are not missing. I absolutely love it.

The concept of fighting like a girl is interesting to me. It could be quickly dismissed as an appeal to the female audience, but I’d argue that there is more to it. As a millennial who has experienced and witnessed much of what the fight for women’s liberation has been like, I can attest that it comes with countless traps and obstacles to move through and beyond - specific to the gender. So when I hear “fight like a girl”, not only do I hear a typical/former insult being subverted, but also a statement on the persistence and tenacity that it takes to go against all the odds that are stacked against you. It is interesting also because of how it is simultaneously gendered (“like a girl”) and genderless (spoken to any gender).

Furthermore, as someone who has had to deal, over and over, with the pleas of some of the worst scum that you can encounter, I appreciate what the lyrics of the song revolve around. Maybe it wasn’t your reality, but some of us (mostly females) have had the “Just forgive them!” and “Don’t be so cruel!” forced on us at our expense, as if we’re supposed to forever mommy everyone, with the utmost tenderness, even when it is not really our job (never mind fair compensation) and the person in question is refusing to mature and long due for it. “Tonight, you’re the victim of your own crime.” This line, for example, hits hard and speaks volumes if you ponder it further.

Personally, I am profoundly delighted by how Evanescence, with Amy Lee, continues to be active in the scene. Their work is timeless and undeniable. Sneaking in and breaking the mold from the beginning. And still nowadays. 

Participating Without Wearing Out

One of the nicest things that can happen to you is to be so taken into account that others notice when you’re tired, take the load off, and tell you to rest. However, in most cases, that is not what is going to happen. These days, we all barely have any room to pay close attention to anything that doesn’t seem particularly urgent to us and is not formally allocated to us.

And it’s messed up; we should have lifestyles that allow us to care for one another and not just for ourselves. But, instead, we’re too busy surviving or racing each other.

Therefore, as much and as often as you can, keep a watch on your battery. See when it is running low and take your time to recharge it. Situations that do not let you rest when you require it to perform are not situations you should aspire to be and remain in.

Different people get, more or less, exhausted by different things. There are levels to them. Usually, when something is not within your realm of talent, or does not spark the inspiration and motivation to energize you, engaging in it can be especially tiring. 

At worst, it’s as if you’re working against yourself for it. At best, it’s something you’re not yet proficient in and pushing through until you are can be a burdensome struggle. Whatever the case, recharging your battery and having energy is a must. And you can get around it.

• Task Management

Break down and pace intimidating and overwhelming tasks. Learn what is stimulating to you, when and where, and what is tedious to you. See in which order they must be arranged to be able to get through enough.

• Delegation

Even if you’re the best at it or if it has become your responsibility, try to delegate. Look for competent and capable people who are willing to lend you a hand and trust that they’ll do their job properly. Furthermore, avoid meddling and overextending yourself to tend to what is someone else’s problem when they’re already handling it well.

• Give Up Control

You cannot predict nor determine every outcome. There’s much that you must let be, whatever it’ll be. Prepare for different ways in which it could go and adjust sails when that’s the course. Strict stiffness will only cause you suffocation and stress. All you can do is contribute to the preferred or ideal outcome to an extent that is reasonable.

• Taking Breaks & Tuning out

From taking several short breaks to taking a few long ones, you oughta do what you oughta do to keep going. Some tasks can be unbearable, some are almost as though they have a forcefield that repels you. If you cannot leave them, figure out how to withstand them by not being too continually invested.

• Reduce Other Energy Zappers

Is it too noisy? Too messy? Too redundant? Too inefficient? And it doesn’t even have to be? Get rid of that! Put systems in place that flow with more ease in your favor. This includes getting long-winged or unclear instructions and explanations when it could instead be concisely and precisely summarized for you. Dig into the details only when it concerns you.

How well are you doing these? And what else would you add to ensure that you won't run low?

Watch Out for what your Abundance Pulls

It's nice to be and have a lot. But it does come with consequences. Beyond how much you had to work for it, how fortunate you got, or how blessed you were, there’s something else that comes into play: Those who want what you have.

You can be abundant in different aspects and departments. It isn’t solely about money, though money reigns and dominates to the point that it is the most we associate with the term wealth. However, anything that is of some value counts.

And where there’s value to be had, people can go from vaguely resentful to stopping at nothing until they have taken it all away from you. Needless to say, this is why we must have some degree of skepticism, as much as that can hinder our interactions with others, because not everyone is considerate or even respectful. Quite the contrary, boundless selfishness seems to be on the rise.

 

Depending on the type of wealth that you possess, a variety of people will be drawn to you. Essentially, though, just as opposites attract, it often is so that you can make up for their lack - or for the excessive greed that leads them to keep craving more and more, regardless, as if in lack.

Being a complement to another, sharing and exchanging with each other, and having a symbiotic relationship is fine. Being generous when you can afford to, whether or not you get anything in return, can also be fine. But letting yourself be used and taken advantage of, to your detriment, is not.

So, among all else, and besides pupils for tutoring, what is your abundance pulling?
- If you are rich; no surprise, people who want funding, tips, donations, loans (or “loans”), to be treated to expensive luxury…
- If you are popular; people who want status, inclusion, recognition, applause, followers, others wishing to be like them…
- If you are good-looking; people who want pleasure, attention, eye and arm candy, to indulge in a fantasy…
- If you are smart; people who want answers, solutions, shortcuts, their homework done for them…
- If you are funny; people who want relief, entertainment, not to have to take things so seriously…
- If you are kind; people who want comfort, patience, understanding, care, doing the minimum without being reprimanded…
Etc. Etc. Etc.

This should give you an idea of what else comes with the sort of abundance that you carry. Then it is a matter of figuring out if it is a fair or even desirable trade when somebody is there for it.

Thorough Self-Improvement

Avoid at all costs to some, a way of life to others. It can indeed be intimidating, as if it is an enormous challenge that you cannot even begin to comprehend, let alone tackle and overcome. Some things could be standing in your way and/or holding you back from it.

But for those who are so familiar and accustomed to it, it is endlessly rewarding and fulfilling to engage in. It can seem like an unstoppable addiction. Not knowing yourself, not learning how to improve yourself, not taking the steps toward self-actualization… How can anyone live like that?

And then there are those who not only push themselves, but also pull and lift others with them too. People who strive to be, have, and give for the better. Often, they put an enormous amount of time, energy, and other resources into helping others get out of a tough spot and go further toward a plentiful life. (Ironic and irritating how, regardless, leeches appear and completely disregard all their work to set back and even sabotage those they were so invested in.)

That said, this lifestyle isn’t for the weak. It requires a strong spirit, a strong mind, a strong heart, and a strong body. You may not start this way, of course, but will be forced to develop as such in order to meet the many challenges within the main challenge of thoroughly improving yourself.

If making up excuses, constantly complaining, escaping from responsibilities, and always taking the easier route is your thing, you’re far from the mindset that must be adopted. You need will, optimism, commitment, and defiance. Curiosity is also important to have, so that you can continue to inspect and reveal what may be lacking, along with searching for and pondering solutions.

Many people make the mistake of fueling their drive to improve through humiliation. And while this can indeed be effective, as it can be so painful as to have you giving your all not to get there, it can come with a restlessness that isn’t advisable and could ultimately backfire. Losing sleep, having meltdowns, being actively tortured by unpleasant thoughts and feelings. That would keep you from successfully addressing blind spots and more.

Alternatively, if you see yourself as an ongoing project that you can contribute to every day, you’ll get a steady sense of progress that yields lasting results in more than just a handful of areas. You might be more wary of what gets in the way of that as well. It doesn’t mean you won’t be infuriated from time to time, but it does mean that, for the most part, it’ll be under your control - and you can be flexible enough to have ups and downs, steps forward and steps back, acknowledging the non-linearity of it.

Your circle could change. If there are people around you who do not wish to see you rise, they will resent you and possibly try to bring you down and back with them. But even if others don’t follow your pace or reach your level, they ought to, at the very least, be okay with your advancement. Ideally, though, you would surround yourself with people who inspire, motivate, encourage, and support you instead.

Then it is just a matter of keeping it up. Next thing you know, you are less burdened and more capable than you’ve ever been. 

Unfaltering Self-Acceptance

“Love yourself.” Yes, but there’s more to it. How do you go about it? Are you supposed to ignore and excuse all your faults and shortcomings or should you be interpreting this differently?

Turns out, it is hard and difficult to “love yourself” when there are things about you that you legitimately do not like and will not sincerely like no matter how much you attempt to. And that’s okay, because some of our traits do not define us. They are there temporarily and maybe they are merely situational. Something you’re meant to shed at some point. And doing so would reveal more of who you truly are or even take you closer to the best version of you.

So self-acceptance, in this case, isn’t about staying where you are exactly as you are. It is about facing yourself, coming to terms with what is in front of you right at this moment, and allowing it to exist without denial unless or until you can move past it.

When you take yourself as you are, you accept that you have a history; a past that led you to this present and a future that you have a hand in shaping. How strict or indulgent you are from there is up to you. Yet, there is quite a wide range that remains within what is reasonable and what you can fully, without any lies or delusions, embrace.

You would have to take into account your limits. How far can you go without it being of any harm or risk to yourself? Furthermore, how far can you go while still being authentically you, in touch with and connected to your core and the essence of who you are, rather than putting it on hold to fabricate a different persona? You would also have to take into account your taste. What do you genuinely prefer? What is a reflection of your own style? What are your vibes? How do you let your unique Self shine through?

Being regretful, filled with shame and guilt, about choices that you’ve made is to be expected. You will have to work through those too. Remember that it all went down as it went because that’s what it all came to. But does it have to be repeated or can (and will) you choose differently next time?

And speaking of being the total of the sum of everything... Comparisons with others are useless and bound to be counterproductive unless they’re for reference and inspiration to further achieve what suits you, not for basing your personal worth on. Getting discouraged and looking down on yourself isn’t going to help you.

Take it in chunks or in bits. See what you are keeping and what you are getting rid of. Where you currently are isn’t as important as where you’re heading. Once you set yourself on that frame, you’ll have little to no trouble handling imperfections and “imperfections”.

Cancer's Season

♋ CANCER

As we enter the season of Cancer, it is believed that the universe will be affecting us with energies that will cause us to reflect deeply and nurture ties. We will be more in tune with our emotions, and abilities to care and empathize will be enhanced. If you are receptive to them, you might be imbued with warmth and sheltering. If you are resistant to them, you might be conflicted with moodiness and emotional overwhelm. If you are completely blocked out, you might not notice them at all. And if you don't pay enough attention, you might miss opportunities for healing and closeness.

Motivational Quote: "Home is where the heart is."

For context and more of relevance, please read about The Zodiac.

Who's at Your Lowest & Who's at Your Highest?

Be careful who you assume is there for you. It is not always so obvious. And even what is ‘evident’ could be deceiving.

There’s a common misconception that who’s there at your lowest is a real, ride-or-die friend. And there’s another common misconception that who’s there at your highest is a false, fair-weather friend. And while it is often the case, it isn’t so simple and you might be in for quite the unpleasant surprise.

The friend you should be looking for, or appreciating if you’ve already found them, is the sort that accompanies you at your lowest and celebrates you at your highest. Someone who is there for you in the ups and downs. Not necessarily all through it, or too closely tagging along, but one who allows you either and lends a hand whenever possible. With genuine solidarity, whether or not they expect reciprocity.

It is not so unusual that a person is only capable of being either at one or the other. Someone who is there at your lowest, looking like your tight buddy, only to resent you and even sabotage you if you ever dare to reach and be higher. Likewise, someone who is there at your highest, looking like your hype squad, only to abandon and even deny you when things don’t go in your favor anymore.

People who want you to remain at your lowest do benefit from you being there. You might believe that you are no more than a burden under those circumstances, but that, too, works for them. For starters, you are not a threat to them. They won’t see you as competition. They are superior when they are next to you. They get to be seen as noble and charitable. And if they do help you, then you’ll owe them. Some of them specifically target those who tend to be extra grateful, knowing that what little they do will be multiplied and given back tenfold.

Alternatively, people who want you to remain at your highest benefit more visibly. And unlike the former, they don’t have to put a lot of effort into pretending to be a helper, given that you don’t need so much help. They can just shower you with flattery and applause. Do one or two things here and there to suggest that there’s more substance to them. Lie and promise that there is and will be more to it if suspected or questioned. All the while, basking in all that the proximity to your success grants them. Feigning joy for you and your well-being is easy when they’re genuinely joyful for themselves and the well-being you bring them.

Fabricating scenarios to test others isn’t okay, but you should definitely, when given the chance, pay attention to who is or isn’t there when low or high - and why. Maybe your seemingly ride-or-die friend prefers you in misery. And maybe the seemingly fair-weather friend wished they could be with you at your lowest but legitimately couldn’t (or shouldn’t).

The Vulnerability of Being Exposed

Inhibitions, inhibitions, inhibitions. They’re there for a reason - or several. Should they be kept? Or should they be let go of? That’s something to look closely into.

In a way, they guard us. Behind an inhibition is likely an area that has, in some form, been wounded before. Or perhaps, simply an area that, upon witnessing attacks to the same or similar, we assume (possibly correctly so) they’re at risk as well. More generally, it could be that we know, sense, or worry we’re around or surrendered by the kind of people who would not be so gentle with us. Maybe we grew up in an environment that made it the norm, so it is now a pervasive fear that we can hardly shut off.

There are instances in which it is completely rational to be inhibited and instances in which it is not. If we are vulnerable to being wounded, that’s enough reason to have our guards up. At least for as long as we’re thin-skinned rather than thick-skinned about a matter.

They say that callouses and scar tissue are stronger than regular skin, and there’s truth to that. However, there’s only so much that you can take without willingly becoming a human sacrifice to entertain the vices of others. So if you wish to be reserved, then be. And if you can handle being exposed, not losing much by it or even gaining in return for it, then that’s your choice to make too.

Nevertheless, it is important to know that, oftentimes, what makes us vulnerable and prone to being wounded is no more than our own beliefs and attitudes in regards to something. How you look at it. Would you be agreeing with negative and destructive feelings and thoughts or would you be disagreeing, and dismissive of them? When somebody harshly criticizes you, do you give their views and opinions weight or are they irrelevant or even mistaken as far as you're concerned? Are you accepting enough of yourself that you would instead see them as too narrow-minded and judgmental?

Regardless, it can sting, and it can indeed get under your skin (especially when done repeatedly). When that happens, you may have to go through it and draw out the poison before it spreads and is further internalized. Being patient, caring, and sincere with yourself can be your remedy. Treat it with the tenderness that the other person failed to.

"IYKYK"

Are you in or are you out? The inside jokes, the references, and the (quite unbelievable) lore that makes it possible, with its origins back in who-knows-when. If you know, you know. And if you don’t, do you REALLY want to know? Once you go down the rabbit hole, you might never be the same. It’s all fun and games until it’s not. Not for the faint of heart. Maddening, to say the least. More than a hobby, an obsession.