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Saturday, June 22, 2024

Steps to make it out of Abusive Situations

Every situation is unique and more complicated than words can encompass. Nevertheless, there are five fundamental steps that can be taken to make it out of abusive situations.

• Identify the situation you’re in. Unless you are aware of the situation you’re in, you won’t be able to consciously do much about it. See the ways in which it is abusive and to what extent. Consult experts to be more accurate.
• Decide that you’ve had enough of it. Be stubborn about it so that you can be determined to change it against the odds. Doubting and second-guessing can keep you stuck in the same place forever.
• Locate your exits. What doorways, metaphorically or literally speaking, lead you out of it to less abusive or abuse-free situations, to more favorable places? Which are within your reach?
• Determine your approach. What can you do to get there? Which problems require solving and which obstacles must be overcome? Are you all set or should you gather supplies? You might not be “completely ready,” but ready enough... is enough.
• Don’t let anything hold and pull you back. It is no surprise that abusers would rather you stay or that the situation remains the same. After all, as a victim of abuse, you likely give more than you take and a remorseless abuser would not like to lose that. Do not listen to senseless guilting and shaming. Ignore baseless claims that you won’t make it without them (or that they can't make it without you). Basically, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re obligated to sacrifice yourself for someone else’s selfish agenda when you don’t owe them that.

This being said, do not mistake a situation that is simply not what you prefer or what is most beneficial for you for a situation that is inherently abusive. The steps to make it out of them may be similar, but this distinction is important. Otherwise, among other things, you could lose credibility and goodwill.

See also: What is abuse?