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Tuesday, October 31, 2023

Past Halloween Costumes

I wanted to dress up for Halloween this year, but given a series of events, I won't be able to. Better luck next time!

What I can still bring, though, is a compilation of some of my past Halloween costumes. Some are simply a few things I quickly put on in the spirit of Halloween (better than nothing). But for others, I regret not having taken more and better pictures (to have the full attire and capture the whole mood) or going all the way with them (finishing up artistic makeup).

In any case, these are all characters that exist in my imagination. And I suppose are now out in the real world, too. This is one of the many reasons why I love Halloween - it's the holiday that prompts us to take on a different persona for the heck of it. And I love doing that!

I've gone as "Broken Porcelain Doll", "Ghost", "Dark Pierrot", "Pirate", "Witch", "80's", and much more.

I'm so glad that there's not a limit on how old you can be to dress up for Halloween (and other occasions) because I'd like to keep doing this for as long as I'm here!

Monday, October 30, 2023

Lyrics Carried Within (2of4)

Continuing with lyrics that are particularly relevant here, there's Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This).  

It is as though this song prepared me for the world and will forever be timeless. That is a sad thought for some of us.

I'd say it contributed to my cynicism in regards to people, but maybe it didn't enough - as I could still fall for it. But then it gets to a point where it's not so much "I believed you and you turned out to be something else!" And it becomes something more of an "Alright, let's see how much of what you claim to be looking for is really what you're looking for." Yet, still disappointing when the harsh truth comes.

What's more interesting to me than wanting to use and abuse others, is wanting to be used and abused by others. It's like the former is twisted, but the latter is beyond messed up. If you look closely into them.

There are elements of utility even in the most caring relationships, of course, and even the kindest people could get carried away with pushing and taking from others. However, beware of when it is significantly worse than that.

Both the ones wanting to mistreat others and the ones wanting to be mistreated can be seriously harmful to you. The first seems obvious but the second can be overlooked. Have you ever been with someone "harmless" who somehow often managed to bring out the worst in you? Or maybe just someone with an endless amount of benefits of the doubt and second chances? How did that go?

Most of us here are quite rotten.

Sunday, October 29, 2023

Too Unhinged & Deranged

How far can you or should you go?

What happens in fiction land, stays in fiction land. Maybe that’s a handy guideline to adopt when it comes to exploring, experimenting, and experiencing the most unhinged and deranged aspects of yourself, of others, and of living creatures, organisms, and machinery in general.

However, are you really free to go as wild as you’d like when that’s the case? Not quite. You’ll get passes but you’ll still be marked as suspicious. And that’s something you would have to maneuver through, possibly by having a vast amount of evidence pointing to your innocence to counteract the effect of these concerning activities.

And while it’s true that it’s often the most small and simple-minded people who are quick to point fingers and yell, “Witch!” To have everyone around gather with pitchforks and carry you to be burned at the stake, it is valid to be wary of those displaying a level of enjoyment in violence or other twisted and messed up things. That doesn’t mean those that hide it are automatically more trustworthy, To some, that can be more concerning because… Where does their anger go? Surely, any human without a disability impeding it is able to experience anger. But it does mean that when you do show the signs, more people take notice and, rightfully so, their guard goes up.

This can be discouraging. But if you’re meant to go into these sides of life, it may not fully stop you. It will also largely depend on how accepting or rejecting your environment is of this nature. And if you’re committed and responsible enough with it, it will take much to deter you.

It is proven, however, that it is worse to be in complete denial and ignorance of what horrors lurk or lie beyond - in the past, present, and in potential futures. Depending on how this venture is taken, it can serve as a form of preparation for the same or similar situations, on smaller or larger scales. But there’s indeed the risk of being consumed by it instead and taken down a darker road.

Please always exercise sound judgment and stop before reaching the point of no return.

Points on Monstrousity

 #1  What’s monstrous often stems from a lack of moderation, from giving into vices. However, it may also only be that which scares or disgusts us. If not also harms us regardless of whether what is done is universalty or inherently good or bad.

 #2  Monstruosity may be deemed out of shallow criteria, for superficial and unexamined reasons. What is “ugly” (in the typical or wider sense) and therefore undesired or even unacceptable by strict norms.

 #3  A monster may be someone that threatens our sense of safety, or merely our comfort. Regardless of motives and intentions, they can come across as such. 

 #4  A monster doesn’t necessarily appear as such. They may be attractive and seductive, lulling you into trusting that they are incapable of any ill. But still behave in ways, albeit subtle, that severely lack consideration and care for others.

 #5  Monsters may be powerful, but they usually aren’t invincible. However, you must be able to face what they are to know how to defeat or overcome them.

Friday, October 27, 2023

Another Love

Most of you have probably already heard this song, but I'd like to elaborate on it because, in my opinion, it is a very accurate depiction of the effect a breakup can have on someone's heart and be oddly specific about it.

So, no, it is not always like this. Some may never experience this exact same thing. But I can tell you it happens. It's not just excuses (as many are guilty of these days).

Some of us can be so intensely invested in somebody else that, when it doesn't work out, it is truly devastating. And it goes beyond still being attached to the other person or wanting them instead of anybody else. You can be fully done with somebody, emotionally or simply romantically, yet still be in this state. Because after pouring all your love on to them, what do you have left? 

In my experience, jerks are horrible in numerous ways, and damaging so. But it's the ones you could be happy with that can leave you the most void in this manner. And it isn't so simple to move on then.

What's sad is that maybe the next person would have been better for you. It has nothing to do with them that you can't love the same way and instead act dryly as they wait for you to come back around. But who knows? Maybe something similar also happened in the previous relationship and there was also a waiting period.

This is one of my biggest fears, though. To mistreat someone who deserves better because I am not well. Believe it. I have pushed away outstandingly woderful people in the past because of this. If I love you, then I genuinely want the best for you. And if can't see myself as what could be the best for you, it is difficult for me to stay. And this is also the reason why I have no sympathy for awful people who make things worse for me begging to let them stick around. But I digress.

I've been in a situation where I desperately wanted to avoid this "timeline", where I was so emotionally vacant that I'd push a loving person into this rage. But lying and pretending isn't so much better. I'd rather not say what I don't really mean. Even if it is an understandable white lie.

And it's kind of like that here. He does care about her. May love her and acknowledge the amazing person she is. But he's just... empty at this point. If timing had been different, he maybe would have been madly in love with her too.

So, sometimes, some of us, really do need time. To mend and fill our hearts again and again be able to love properly. And, I repeat, it has nothing to do with the next person. They're not less than nor not enough.

Am I saying that you shouldn't get involved with people that aren't at their best? Not quite. But you should know what you're signing up for and decide from there. Because even if they want it badly too, they cannot magically fix themselves overnight...

Sunday, October 22, 2023

Conjuring & Transmuting

But isn’t that, like, magic? Complete fiction or illusory at most? It depends on how you look at it!

When we speak of conjuring and transmuting, we are speaking of two particular processes. These processes are often associated with the realm of magic, of unbelievable powers reserved for those who are more than mere humans. However, this doesn’t mean that they can’t be borrowed for more practical and common instances of them - whether to take something mundane and view it through the lens of wonder or simply to effectively communicate what is being done exactly.

When you’re drawing from within yourself and connected deeply with what could be various sources of inspiration that fuel you or even possess you, what comes out of that can be considered something you conjured up - especially if the specific measures and mixes are essential to the formation of it, had you consciously controlled them or not.

Similarly, transmutation is something you do. When instead of completely discarding what seems useless or even detrimental to you, you have it go through a transformation that turns it into something worthier to you, to others, or in general instead, and it is somehow an equivalent, yet perhaps an opposite, that is by definition transmutation.

In art, when engaging with one’s artistic abilities, conjuring and transmuting is not foreign. Artists seemingly forge gems out of nowhere and turn coal into gold. And it is magical to those who appreciate it.

Points on Mysticism

 #1  Mysticism, though may sound superstitious, is indeed a real phenomenon that encompasses observable traits and behaviors. However, as they are more abstract and subjective than concrete and objective, they can be missed by those more inclined to the latter.

 #2  Mysticism, mystics, and mystical experiences relate to the perception and comprehension of what’s beyond the obvious and can be linked to concepts such as souls and the divine. Which may or may not be further interpreted and expressed.

 #3  Mysticism can be a state of mind. Some access it through the use of drugs, but they can still be reached through other stimulants that tap into one’s intuition and ability to shift perspectives and recognize extra layers.

 #4  The recognition of symbols and archetypes, as well as patterns, are typical ways to deal with and practice mysticism.

 #5  If you are gifted with the mystical, you are not necessarily a “magical” being, but you tend to be spiritual and have a heightened sensitivity to the fabrics of life and the energies that run through them. This can make you “psychic” and “prophetic” to some degree.

Friday, October 20, 2023


Mere coincidence or somehow connected? Tricky to tell. Nevertheless, certain events can seem too significant to ignore. They may not be heaven-sent, but still be the result of what can be considered divine order. And if you trace things down enough, you might get to the source from which these connected but seemingly disconnected coincidences emanate. Then again, there’s still the possibility of being a simple meeting by chance in space and time.


Much like patterns, archetypes are structures that can be perceived by going beyond the details attached to them that may differ. In other words, an archetype holds an essential form that can be repeatedly found with different characteristics but maintains what fundamentally makes it the same. E.g. The King, The Queen, The Tower, etc.


Symbols can be anywhere from perfect analogies to vague semblants of what they are intended to represent. Usually, context matters greatly in order to grasp what they’re about. They may be constants or variables, meaning always the same (at least within a given constraint) or changing meanings depending on when and where they’re placed and aimed to refer to.


Can divinations be trusted? No, not really. But they can be considered. Maybe they don’t connect to a greater spirit or a divine order to grant you answers, or maybe they do but the channels are ineffective. The message may be distorted or misconceived. However, generally, divinations can nudge you into paying attention to areas that you might have otherwise ignored. They may also tap into your own intuitive knowing and lead you into realizing truths.


How often do you pause to reflect? Is it something that you can go days, weeks, months, or even years without engaging in? Alternatively, do you compulsively do so, reflecting whenever whatever sinks in or is stirred up? Perhaps you have a more moderate medium. Regardless of the case, reflection is undeniably worthwhile unless it turns into dwelling that becomes stagnant. What amount of reflection suits you and your temperament is specific to you. But even if you’re not generally inclined to it, there may come moments when it is best for you to reflect.


Not everybody dreams (or is able to remember their dreams) and it varies for those who do. Maybe dreams are not a big part of your life, maybe you only dream every once in a while and it appears to be totally random. But for people who dream 3-7 dreams whenever they doze off, there may be more in them. And if they have paid attention, they would have noticed that there’s more to them than just shuffled perceptions and interpretations.


The brain is a marvelous organ with capabilities beyond belief. But what can be endlessly fascinating is what it holds within, as well as how it processes, stores, accesses, and compiles information. The psyche is still quite the mystery - and the via through which we can begin comprehending all. It comes through in everything, so why would we ignore it?

Scorpio's Basics

Transit Date: Late October.
Middle of Autumn.

Position: 8th.
Element: Water.
Quality: Fixed.

Symbolized by: The Scorpion.
Typically Associated with: Intensity, depth, darkness. 

At Best: Fearless and penetrating.
At Worst: Malicious and manipulative.

For context and more of relevance, please read about The Zodiac.

Sunday, October 15, 2023

What are your Blind Spots?

You know what you know, but do you know what you don’t know?

Blindspots are the areas that, as the name implies, we are blind to. They may be blatantly visible to others, but you overlook them. In some cases, we may not notice what’s in them even when it is pointed out. Unless you illuminate the area for yourself, you won’t be able to see what’s there.

These blind spots can be outside or inside ourselves, separate from us or within us.

It is recommendable to at least become aware of their existence, if not get rid of them by perceiving what they encompass. So that you can proceed in a manner that reduces or prepares for potential risks. Pitfalls and more that may backfire can be avoided, too.

Furthermore, blindspots are vulnerabilities that can be exploited by the ill-willed. To someone versed in this, and familiar with mental mapping, noticing others’ blindspots isn’t too difficult. And they can be used to confuse and manipulate. Attacks through them can also be particularly hurtful and/or disabling. As though not knowing what hit you and how - being caught off-guard and unable to fend from it.

To those who take advantage of this, if not bright enough, playing or appearing ignorant or naive (or just dumb) can lead to their downfall as they underestimate how much the person is grasping while overestimating how much they are. People with overinflated egos are especially prone to making assumptions that ultimately won’t serve them and have plenty of blindspots themselves

Points on Ignorance

 #1  You don’t ought to know everything to begin taking action. However, depending on what you’re like and what you’re doing, there’s a level of knowledge that you must achieve in order to feel comfortable and confident going forward.

 #2  Knowing too much can be paralyzing. If at any point you feel overwhelmed by what you know, take the time to sort through the information to simplify it and be able to see and set a course.

 #3  Knowing too little can be fatal. Aim to prepare yourself with at least what is essential to your competence.

 #4  You shouldn’t expect to have no gaps in knowledge, even on subjects you know well and are turned to for answers. Be open to finding out that there’s something you didn’t know and adjust accordingly. It may be humbling, but stubbornly refusing to admit ignorance can be worse.

 #5  It can be a waste to attempt to cover every base on your own. Don’t be too afraid to count on others who can be trusted to provide knowledge.

Sunday, October 8, 2023

A Clear Conscience

How clear is your conscience? Do you have a conscience? Does your conscience speak to you? What is even a conscience?

In people, a conscience is a built-in mechanism that assists in determining what is the right way to behave in given situations and circumstances. With a conscience, you are prompted to evaluate the actions you've taken or could take. Considering not only how they benefit you and how convenient they are for you, but also what impact they have on others - directly or indirectly. 

Because of this, something as seemingly harmless as leaving a piece of trash on a park bench instead of dropping it in the nearest trash can may leave you feeling displeased with yourself. Accidentally being rude to an innocent stranger may nag you for hours. For worse, more severe and serious offenses, you may be robbed of sleep. Or at least, that would be the case if you're a conscientious person.

A conscience could be suppressed and repressed to the point where it is barely hearable, but it could still be affecting your state. You may not be as much in the mood for things or even begin hating yourself and not knowing why. Having voices in your head that you do not recognize as your own is a possibility, too. And if you're the kind who dreams as a way to access and process what's in your subconscious, what you've been denying might come up there.

Lacking conscience, on the other hand, denotes a brain disability. Although, ironically, those that do often take pride in it, mistaking their inability to weigh matters in terms of impact, consequences, and balance, as a sort of 'slickness' that allows them to take shortcuts in life and go through it unbothered. It can be enviable, but the reality is that it is self-centered and relatively short-sighted. And in extreme cases, leads to sociopathy and psychopathy - if not just narcissism.

Ideally, your conscience would work for you and your greatest good. Not as something that hinders your potential, crippling and paralyzing you, but that helps develop and reveal your best version. So that you can live an exemplary life with few to no regrets.

For this, engaging in self-reflection when you run into a moral or ethical issue is important. This is how to fine-tune the systems that program and inform your conscience. And it is life-long work. Along with keeping it clear.

Points on Guilt & Shame

 #1  Guilt and shame are words sometimes used interchangeably. However, there's an important distinction to make between what they refer to. Essentially, guilt is experienced based on your own principles, values, and conscience. Whereas, shame, is experienced based on the views and opinions of others - or the potential of being judged unfavorably by them.

 #2  To deal with guilt, you must be brave enough to look at yourself and see your faults and shortcomings. Many do not work through their guilt because they cannot face themselves, preferring to hold on to the illusion that they aren't to blame or take responsibility. It can be difficult even for mature and evolved individuals.

 #3  To deal with shame, you must be discerning and ask yourself what is warranted and what is not. While taking into consideration the responses of others can help you correct yourself, adapt, and fit with them, there are times when the norms must be questioned instead. 

 #4  When you experience guilt and/or shame, it serves to examine them rather than being blindly guided by them. They may arise from misguided beliefs that are needlessly limiting and even detrimental.  

 #5  If you rarely or never experience guilt or shame, it could mean that you have a refined system that keeps you aligned in what you believe, what you say, and what you do - leading you to behave properly and appropriately in most cases. Alternatively, your conscience is lacking and you are not being alerted of missteps through guilt and shame. 

Sunday, October 1, 2023

Expectations & Gratification

We may be needlessly setting ourselves up for frustration.

Having expectations and pursuing gratification can do wonders for your productivity. The former gives you aims while the latter gives you rewards. But it can become counterproductive if not formed well or delayed enough.

In the case of forming expectations, you don’t have to limit yourself to what is most “realistic” and therefore settle, but it may help you to find the spot that works for you between being firm and being flexible with them. E.g. What is within your domain and what isn’t? You can push yourself to do your most and/or your best, and expect that of yourself, but it doesn’t quite translate the same way when expecting that of people or life itself - there’s less you know to account for and less that you govern over. So, to some degree, you must leave matters to chance and be adaptable enough when whatever comes. Yet, it tends to be the case that odds will be in your favor if you strive for excellence - just as long as you don’t insist in fitting into places that you’ve outgrown.

When it comes to delaying gratification, it can be tough but it is doable. But like with forming expectations, there’s a sweet spot that you must find for yourself. One between being able to go without it and being kind to yourself regardless. Being a joyless machine can only get you so far. And primarily chasing after joy will turn your process into a roller coaster ride. That said, gratification may come with what you're doing, when the tasks at hand are inherently fulfilling and you are appreciative enough to derive fulfillment from them, or found outside or after the task, like listening to nice music while drinking a cup of your favorite tea or by getting feedback and collecting a payment. For example. What is gratifying is innumerable and often not obvious. It is also specific to each person, though underlying principles might be the same.

We are prone to frustration, when we’re too heavily reliant on expectations being met and gratification being granted. This frustration can be a sign that they are of extreme importance and should not be taken lightly. But it can also mean that they’re backfiring on you and should be revised.

Points on Desire

 #1  Desire is often conceived as the opposite of fear. As a force that, beyond reason, pulls toward an object. Whereas, fear pushes away from it.

 #2  Desire can be closely linked with lust. Thus, can be viewed negatively or at least with caution. As the behaviors it produces may be likened to those of demons or of the possessed.

 #3  Desire, while a powerful driving force, may be overruling. You do lose control of yourself if it is strong enough or you have little to no hold on it. It may have you acting in ways that seem out of character for you and that you may later regret.

 #4  Desire is also a vulnerability to those looking for what to exploit. It may be turned into an addiction that is challenging to break even when it is clearly more damaging than beneficial.

 #5  Desire, regardless of the many pitfalls to avoid when it comes to it, can still be something harmless or even conducive to positive and constructive things. 

Halloween Celebration

In October, we celebrate Halloween!

Whether you're a horror freak or not.
A crawly creature from the dark or not.
You can venture into the realm of monsters.
Be careful, though!
Some are indeed terrifying.