Hustler Much?

It is as if, hustling, as a last resort, is being idealized and romanticized. To cope with it, to deny the harm it can do. When you overdo it. 

There will be people taking pride and bragging about how they wear themselves to the ground, over and over, and how you should, too. But if you ponder it, what is really in it? Is the work they do even truly helpful, all things considered, directly or indirectly, to merit that sort of sacrifice? Sadly, you will find that, quite often, it is not. On the contrary, rather than a net-positive, it is a net-negative.

There is going to be work that you don’t love, but still ought to do, and there is no denying that. Sometimes you must push yourself to meet a standard, a deadline, a quota, when you’d rather be resting. But if you are severely jeopardizing yourself in the process, continually overlooking your deterioration, who is that going to help? You could lose what made you qualify in the first place, becoming bitter, fried, numb, or even end up suffering from complications that fully disable you and disqualify you.

It is not about being a lazy bum, which won’t be that enjoyable after a while, either. It is about preserving yourself so that you can continue or start giving your best. And depending on your field and what it requires from you, this would be more or less imperative.

You can challenge yourself, improve your strengths, and develop past your weaknesses. But you can also be systematic and strategic enough to minimize strain and maximize return. Work with rather than against yourself. It shouldn’t be a race to be the most damaged, but to be capable, competent, and ultimately formidable. And for that, you OUGHT to stay in shape. Mentally, emotionally, physically…

Yet, part of staying in shape, in more than one aspect, is to go through the ‘tasks’ of rest, repair, and refill. Even machines do it, and you believe yourself above it? Book that as though it is part of your job, because, if you make art, it is. And save yourself from “mysterious” illnesses and injuries. Or just pathetically low or merely mediocre performance. If you have control over your schedule, there is no excuse.

Look at how much more you can accomplish when you bounce back from effective breaks. How your mood affects your mindset, how your mindset affects your outlook, how your outlook affects your approach, and how your approach affects your results. It is worth it.

People-Pleaser Much?

Is being a people-pleaser worth it? When you’re the book definition of a people-pleaser, the only people you really please are other people-pleasers and abusers - people who are more than happy to endlessly be catered to and pleased.

All while increasingly losing yourself to a fog of falsehoods because your true thoughts and feelings may not be compatible with what you would believe would be ‘pleasing’. You may even stop having your own, as you no longer pause to ask yourself what you feel or think about a situation. Instead, you instantly go to ponder or (in even more lousy attempts) assume what another or others might prefer from you.

Don’t get it twisted, however. To stop being a people-pleaser, as described above, you don’t have to go all the way opposite to it and become a “people-displeaser”, choosing only yourself at all times or even going out of your own way to ‘prove’ that you won’t bother at all about others. That would likely put you in the abusers category.

The issue is that, if you wish to be authentic, whole, and secure in yourself, being a people-pleaser won’t take you there. You might get applause, acceptance, and belonging, but that’s not truly directed at and embracing all of you, is it?

People-pleasing can be a requirement to survive dangerous and dire situations, and a lot of us come from or go through that in life, so it is understandable. However, when it is carried out without a legitimate need for it, it can turn into something far uglier. What may have started as a habit then becomes manipulation for status and more, whether within an individual’s priorities or within a group’s hierarchy. And perhaps you are all playing that same game as if it is the norm, while secretly resenting each other or just having lower opinions than those shared. And if that is your world, you are free to stay in it.

Nevertheless, when it comes to actually having and showing humanity, the drive to please others comes from different motivations. And calling you a ‘people-pleaser’ when that is the case would be inaccurate. It is not about pleasing. It is about considering others, caring for them, and wishing to contribute to them, for their sake. Yet, simultaneously, doing so, if they are worthy of such gestures (or you are merely, unfortunately, under that impression), it will bring you fulfillment, too. Especially if you were able to contribute from parts of you that are unequivocally you. You are simply being, existing as you are, and that is enough.

So when you take yourself into account, respecting and loving yourself, not only do you discover more of who you are, but you also treat yourself to what you both need and want, as a human, which will literally be filling you with more to give, making you more abundant. In what? Who knows! Whatever your particular brand of human is.

It can be lonely; it is not a recipe for guaranteed and immediate popularity. But it is on you to decide whether you will invest in yourself, to bring forth your best version and reach your potential, or in some nebulous and evershifting concept you can adapt or contort yourself into. If the latter comes easily for you, it may be the sensible option. But if it is painfully unbearable, you should definitely look into completely dropping people-pleasing.

More Hustling? No, Tea Time!

It is wild that despite everything, all the troubles and the horrors of the world, I was expecting to have another busy day today, tending to chores, errands, and other tasks. Well, no. I refuse. And you should, too, if you're due for a break.

Move and/or remove work from your schedule. Take it easier today. Or even take the whole day off. Have some calming tea. Slow down. Regain some peace. Come back to your body and breathe. Things can wait.

Take care of yourself today. Find some relaxation and, if you can also manage, some joy. Whether that's alone or in company. You deserve it. 

Get back to work later on.

Privacy Please

It is not about being ashamed or guilty of anything, it is not even about lacking self-esteem, it is about respecting the process. You are not meant to perform for others and welcome their input at every step and at every turn. You are entitled to privacy.

Even if somebody is completely non-judgmental and accepts you wholly, and even if they remain silent and still the whole time, you need your moments in absolute privacy. Moments in which you won’t be compelled to be aware of what is happening, in minute detail, through various angles and points of view, so that you can intuit how it is being perceived by another. You shouldn’t have to be burdened with forming an image for somebody else before you’re ready to and unless you’re willing to. That just adds more to take into account and consider. More to juggle and do. That disrupts the process. And exhausts you.

Worse when, instead, THEY ARE overly judgmental and reject many parts of you. In such a case, you’ll barely manage to deconstruct, reconstruct, and construct like you’re supposed to in order to get to the final result. It’ll all suddenly be about them and whether or not they’ll be okay with what you’re doing (or even throw a tantrum over it). And, if they got you invested in their approval, you will be shrinking and twisting yourself, likely breaking while at it, enslaved to their cheers and their boos.

Have some walls up and close some doors. It will only offend two types of people: those who are too immature to understand boundaries and those who are also too selfish to care about them. In both cases, it is not a you problem.

Easier said than done. And in certain situations, not even an option. But if you can claim it, then do without remorse. Stating that you require privacy to focus, regardless of whether it means you’re too inhibited or not, should suffice. You may learn, through inevitability, to concentrate in spite of it, but it is still making it harder and more difficult for you. If they are reasonable and considerate, that argument should be enough. If they are not, how valid is their opinion on the matter?

Are you giving a show or are you only practicing and/or building something? You may choose to make your practice and/or your building a public display, but you shouldn’t be obligated to when that’s not what you’re going for.

If you do have inhibitions keeping you from achieving a greater success, making you too reclusive rather than merely reserved at certain points and in certain areas, that’s something to work on by addressing your fears and vulnerabilities when being exposed. But if you just want some darn privacy, then why should it be a debate at all? 

Participating Without Wearing Out

One of the nicest things that can happen to you is to be so taken into account that others notice when you’re tired, take the load off, and tell you to rest. However, in most cases, that is not what is going to happen. These days, we all barely have any room to pay close attention to anything that doesn’t seem particularly urgent to us and is not formally allocated to us.

And it’s messed up; we should have lifestyles that allow us to care for one another and not just for ourselves. But, instead, we’re too busy surviving or racing each other.

Therefore, as much and as often as you can, keep a watch on your battery. See when it is running low and take your time to recharge it. Situations that do not let you rest when you require it to perform are not situations you should aspire to be and remain in.

Different people get, more or less, exhausted by different things. There are levels to them. Usually, when something is not within your realm of talent, or does not spark the inspiration and motivation to energize you, engaging in it can be especially tiring. 

At worst, it’s as if you’re working against yourself for it. At best, it’s something you’re not yet proficient in and pushing through until you are can be a burdensome struggle. Whatever the case, recharging your battery and having energy is a must. And you can get around it.

• Task Management

Break down and pace intimidating and overwhelming tasks. Learn what is stimulating to you, when and where, and what is tedious to you. See in which order they must be arranged to be able to get through enough.

• Delegation

Even if you’re the best at it or if it has become your responsibility, try to delegate. Look for competent and capable people who are willing to lend you a hand and trust that they’ll do their job properly. Furthermore, avoid meddling and overextending yourself to tend to what is someone else’s problem when they’re already handling it well.

• Give Up Control

You cannot predict nor determine every outcome. There’s much that you must let be, whatever it’ll be. Prepare for different ways in which it could go and adjust sails when that’s the course. Strict stiffness will only cause you suffocation and stress. All you can do is contribute to the preferred or ideal outcome to an extent that is reasonable.

• Taking Breaks & Tuning out

From taking several short breaks to taking a few long ones, you oughta do what you oughta do to keep going. Some tasks can be unbearable, some are almost as though they have a forcefield that repels you. If you cannot leave them, figure out how to withstand them by not being too continually invested.

• Reduce Other Energy Zappers

Is it too noisy? Too messy? Too redundant? Too inefficient? And it doesn’t even have to be? Get rid of that! Put systems in place that flow with more ease in your favor. This includes getting long-winged or unclear instructions and explanations when it could instead be concisely and precisely summarized for you. Dig into the details only when it concerns you.

How well are you doing these? And what else would you add to ensure that you won't run low?

You Do Require The Time OFF & AWAY

There’s a twisted appeal to keeping people as tired and bored as they can be. This is not merely “hustling” or “hyperfixating”, which can be meaningful work that is stimulating and regenerative; it is literally self-destruction. This is how you lose touch with your humanity, how you stop making important questions and finding correct answers, how the pain signals and alerts shut down, how you become controllable and convenient. And your reward? Wasting your life while believing that you’re making the most of it.

But whether this programming and conditioning is intentional or not, strategically crafted to keep you obedient or simply misguided attempts to push forward, don’t abuse, neglect, and betray yourself like that. Especially if you’re the type of person whose work revolves around coming up with ideas, thinking critically, and examining your feelings, you ought to unplug. Give yourself a REAL break.

This may mean, even if only briefly:
- Turning off notifications.
- Stepping away from stressful, overwhelming, and draining areas and devices.
- Getting yourself a change of scenery.
- Allowing yourself not to carry the world on your shoulders.
- Treating yourself to pleasures you had put off.

Even as a workaholic who dreads a lack of productivity, you could find it worthwhile when it resets you to optimal conditions to be your most productive. Both inspiration and motivation could return tenfold.

The higher the quality of your vacation, the quicker it can restore you.
Just know when enough is enough, so it propels rather than deters you.

Posting Streak

As things get more and more active, particularly online, please remember to post only as much as you’re fine with.

I can bet that plenty of your readers/viewers love your posts and would like you around every day, getting your valuable input or just having you there, but burning out or taking away too much from your craft in order to be present would be no good. Aim for sustainability (over FOMO).

You can post whenever, even several times in the same day (I avoid excessive posting because I’m with the introspective crowd, though, and care more about substance than chitchat - or worse). But you can also, probably (depending on what you do exactly), post once a day, 2-3 times a week, or once a week - and still be engaging more than enough. You can as well schedule posts that come up regardless of what is going on, that are evergreen or not intended toward any current topic being widely discussed (identifiably so), while you’re off elsewhere if you must keep your account active.

What’s worse than missing you? You getting overwhelmed and/or exhausted and quitting altogether!
Some of us (🙋) will keep being inconsistent and unpredictable except for, maybe, what goes up on its own...

You Deserve Your Space to Be Unapologetically You

I don't know who needs to hear this, but...

Most people, if not all past a certain age, have at some point:
Bad posture, unflattering angles, repeated outfits, pimples, cellulite, stretch marks, fat rolls, white hair, bald spots, snored, drooled, burped, farted, picked their nose, scratched their butt, let their room get messy, ingested what they probably shouldn't, lied harmlessly or justifiably, ranted or vented about someone they love, watched porn, masturbated, remained in the closet about something, etc, etc, etc.

And while you could say that these things are gross and/or embarrassing, you also can certainly think of what's way worse than simply being human.

The "perfection" people chase or pretend at on social media, or generally in public, is unsustainable as a 24/7 reality. So don't hold yourself to that standard while you're just living.

Enough of us do get it and give you your space. ✌️

Why Have a Bucketlist?

It’s all fun and games, but also… what a way to keep yourself alive! Making and keeping a bucket list will give you plenty to look forward to and aspire towards.

Typically, when we think of bucket lists, we think of a list of amazing experiences that we hope to have. That we fear missing out on and would YOLO into. Experiences that we can be overjoyed by if and when have them. And they can range from small to big, affordable to expensive, common to rare, and so on. It is personally gratifying both to have them and to tick them off the list once we do. It brings meaning and purpose into our lives.

And yet, as if that wasn’t enough already, there are countless different ways in which to make them. Get personal, be original, do it your way. 

You can decorate it. Get artsy with pens, markers, and stickers or with how you digitally format it (whether you print it out or not).

You can theme it. Make it The Bucket List of an Artist or what may have you. So that from it, what you will add to it emerges.  

You can time it. Maybe it’s not for your entire lifetime, but for the summer. Or for any other season or period. And if it is indeed life-long, then elements within it could belong to set times.

You can display it. Pin it to a board or a wall where you can frequently see it so you won’t forget about it or even show it around to others, if you’d like that extra pressure to commit to it, and even let them anticipate its gradual completion.

Should you bother with it? If it seems like something that your life needs right now, then maybe you should give it a try. Just be wary of putting yourself in strain or risk over it! And if you’re out of ideas for it, it is an exercise in finding out what you’d like in the story of you!

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI

Oh No! Burning Out!

Careful! Even machines burn out! And you’re made of flesh. It’s okay to give yourself a break. Not only okay, it is required for your optimal functioning and to even function at all.

Regularly taking one or two days off a week is important. Occasionally taking a few days off every once in a while is important. Sporadically taking more than that to rest if you ought to is important. And religiously taking advantage of the holidays and other vacation days we have in a year to relieve and restore ourselves is important.

You can hustle, you can make every minute count toward a goal or ambition. But if you take it to a point where it ultimately leads you to break down. It is not productive, it is counterproductive. Furthermore, certain tasks require you to be at your best in order to perform them. Performing them while straining yourself won’t do. Could be disastrous even. Best not even attempted.

Different people and different careers or lifestyles have different amounts of execution. Some people can (and even are compelled to) execute for long while some do not. Some careers or lifestyles demand a great amount of execution while some do not. You must figure out and get to what suits you, pushing yourself only as far as you can handle. It may not be evident right away and you may bit off more than you can chew, or quite the contrary, but that’s something to monitor and make adjustments in accordance with.

It is tempting to compare ourselves with others in terms of who does most. And while an objective observation may be in place for various purposes, it shouldn’t be the reason to be unreasonably harsh toward ourselves or others. As long as it lets you survive and eventually thrive, you can simply aim to give your most and your best without harming yourself in the process.

CREDIT: AI-Generated Examples done on Leonardo.AI

Room to Roam

Structure and even pressure can and are conducive to growth and accomplishment. However, it may also get to a point where it causes stagnation and decline instead. And that can be quite terrible for an artistic spirit.

If you are artistic, particularly introspective and imaginative, you need space and freedom - more so than others may deem it. Not necessarily boundless, but enough to flow and be at ease. Mental, emotional, physical... in all the planes that you're called in.

This is often one of the most arduous challenges for an artist, to be able to claim and exercise their right to have room to roam. Usually, we're born into and/or stumble upon people and situations that place demands on us and they may turn into or seem to be duties that we're obligated to fulfill. Making us "selfish" and "cruel" if we don't. Whether that is really the case or not isn't so simple.

Finding out who you are exactly and what you precisely require isn't a task that can be finished overnight. It can take years. Decades. Of much trial and error or being completely done with what over and over proves not to be for you (anymore or at any point). So it is not surprising that many eventually change course and drastically alter their lives. Or what is worse, lose it.

This is a matter to take seriously. Because while, yes, you must be a responsible person and tend to more than just your own needs and wants, you don't get to do a lot of that if you are severely neglecting yourself. And this is something you must examine and be honest with yourself about.

In my case, the two times my health has been the worst in the sense of leading to crippling depression and suicidal tendencies were when I felt trapped. I could see no end to my suffering. No path I could take that'd give me an exit. And I couldn't bear it. My attempts to progress out of it were actively deterred or even blocked. The time I could put into it, occupied. The energy, zapped. No amount of coping by any means would let me endure for much longer. Then, even if I wasn't taking direct action against myself, I was indifferent about what would happen to me. It is only because I was fortunate to know people who could and would help that I can still be here. Moving closer and closer to what is ideal for me and steering clear of anything that'd again drive me to that state.

Not everyone will get it and that is okay. Only a few may approve. Even fewer would support it. But you must take yourself into consideration even when what you need and want isn't what others believe you do or should - especially if the alternative is looking grim or even potentially lethal. Yet, it doesn't have to be absolutely horrible for you to recognize that your circumstances are detrimental and taking a toll on you. The process out of them is likely to be conflictive and chaotic, but it is something to go through to get to the other side. And once there, you can reassess and reconnect with the parts of it that you can realistically and reasonably handle. If it goes more smoothly than that, then you can gradually take note of what is and isn't manageable for you. But whatever you do, don't let yourself die (figuratively and literally speaking).

All of this is easier said than done. And it can take a while merely to start, let alone be done with it. If you have people close to you that are on your side about improving your situation, that is great. But you can also look into more resources that suit you and your specific concerns to be even less lost and alone in it. 

Eventually, by doing more self-work, you get to where you can accurately pinpoint your limits and set boundaries accordingly so that you neither overextend nor suppress yourself.