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Saturday, September 2, 2023

The Fault in Our Stars & Paper Towns


Gotta say, besides music, movies have also played a significant role in my life.

I briefly mentioned before that I'd seen these movies, based on John Green's books, and that I'm thankful for them. Not that I could fully relate to everything in them, but they did touch on serious matters I was going through at the time, in some form or another. And it was also comforting that that degree of sensibility to write characters and stories existed in the world.

I didn't have a terminal illness, exactly. But I was suffering from severe depression. Not the "I'm sad today so I'll be lazy and distracted" kind. The "it's been days and I can't even get up from the bed, barely lifting an arm feels like a weight I'm unable to carry". And I didn't know if I would ever recover or what. So I couldn't see a future ahead of me, let alone make any promises to anyone. I don't talk about it much nowadays because that's in the past and it doesn't serve me to dwell on it. So, if anything, I'll just use the experience to tell or figure what others in the same or similar positions could be going through and try to help if I can (or at least not make it worse). It is also part of why it is so infuriating to me when I come across people who judge others based on how far ahead or behind they are in life. Because I'm like, "Dude, it is a MIRACLE I'm even alive today. So, STFU. Besides, we're not playing the same game." Or the equivalent if they're doing it to somebody else.

As for disappearing to a small town. Well, yeah. I did do that too. And it was indeed what allowed me to do a ton of soul-searching and self-discovery.

I haven't read the books, but I was fortunate that I got to watch these movies.