Code (Rollover Images)

Menu: General Information

Menu: Also On

Menu: Artworks

Friday, June 2, 2023

Yes, I like Money.

I'm giving into a supernatural pressure I'm sensing to speak about money sooner than later. Something I had programmed to cover more extensively in December. But long story short: 

I used to be hyper-independent and prideful and wouldn't accept money from anyone unless it was clearly earned transactionally. However, this was a self-preserving response to toxic and harmful behaviors I had encountered that wounded me. (Manipulative/coercive/humiliating stuff.)

I healed from that. I'm still wary about receiving money from people as gifts, but I don't immediately turn it down or get offended like before. I just need to be sure that it is freely given in goodwill and that it is not putting a strain on the person. 

In this case, I'd be deeply grateful. I've received a few donations already (TYSM Tumblr mutual 😭💛) that I haven't yet properly shouted out. They meant A LOT to me, though. One of the first ones literally had me uncontrollably crying in public as though it purged misery out of me that I wasn't fully aware I had buried. It came at a time when I was feeling a tad too exploited while trying to be tough about it. The following ones have put me and kept me in a state of relief and tranquility that I immensely appreciate. So, no, it's not just money.

That said. I don't expect money from everyone who has it. I only demand it when people are making me go out of my way, draining my resources, or getting me invested with false claims or promises. Don't want that ugly side of me? Avoid these unless you're ready to compensate proportionally.

As for the jobs I'm offered, I'm extremely busy nowadays, running low on both energy and time. I only accept jobs that are incredibly easy for me to do or even feel like a break (e.g. home & pet sitting) with generous pay. I know it sounds spoiled and entitled, but my focus is currently on my own projects. And fortunately, I can still afford that.