What About Your Legacy?

Maybe you don’t believe in the afterlife. Maybe what happens in life only matters to you while you’re alive. And if that’s how you are, that is valid enough. However, if you find yourself caring about what you could leave to others after you’re gone, then it’s worth pondering some more.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a theist, an atheist, or an agnostic. Regardless of any of that, you may or may not care about the long-lasting consequences that your actions could have.

You may be moved to highly ambitious goals. Not just in the service of yourself (your name, your image, and how you will be remembered), but in the service of others (a generous gift to them). What will it be exactly and in what measure depends, but it can be taken as your mark in history.

Alternatively, it may be simpler than that. Rather than going down in history as somebody noteworthy for a major contribution to the world or an area of it, you may instead be moved to help your family, your community, and others around you or that you choose in some significant manner.

This aim can push you forward to achieve and accomplish more than you would otherwise. As you’d no longer be living only for yourself and your brief life, but for more that goes beyond it. And if the idea of it is inspiring to you, then you’d know it is meant for you to pursue…

Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour

Watch Trailer on Taylor Swift's YouTube ➜

So I finally got to watch this concert film! On December 13th, no less! Taylor Swift decided to release it to watch at home on her birthday and I'm so happy that she did! I missed my chance to see it in theaters, but I'd been wanting to watch it since the moment I first heard of it and upon seeing this astonishing trailer.

It is no secret that I greatly appreciate Taylor Swift as an artist. And from what I know so far about her, as a person too. So I was more than thrilled to enjoy this show from the comfort of my home. I knew it would be out-of-this-world inspiring - and it was. You wouldn't believe how much, despite having gone a different route, I love performing arts and how fulfilling it is for me to witness it. And coming from Taylor Swift, there's so much heart, mind, and work put into it that it easily transports me to what I'd call a world of magic.

The fact that she combined all of the albums is so grand to me, too. I still remember the first time I heard You Belong With Me and how I thought it was somehow different from what I was used to but oddly catchy - and from there, the rest is history. I never got bored of Taylor Swift. I may not be following and keeping up with her every move, but I've been listening to her music throughout the years and am familiar enough with her work for this to be personally meaningful to me.

It is also quite bewildering to me because I remember so much from over the years and I hope I always do. I hope that my memory won't fail me because these are memories I wish to hold on to. There are countless special moments tied to songs that come back more vividly through them but also just moments of how it's been like to exist at the same time as her and witness (or catch glimpses of) her trajectory.

I remember liking her first songs while having no idea how big she'd one day be. I, as well, remember dedicating a few of her songs to close friends. I remember having my sense of wonder restored after having lost it almost completely because of how sentimental she was. I remember defending her from haters, offline and online, just because their arguments were so baffling to me. And then I remember purposely annoying others with her music because they were hating it for (IMO) no good reason (and sometimes I troll, I'm not saying you should too). I remember somehow entering the period of terrible relationships and drama and suddenly having too many of her songs fit (which was ironic to me). And despite not caring about famous artists anymore, she remained the one I kept wondering about as time went on. Ultimately, I remember hearing what I needed to hear right when I needed to. In between all that, I went from a casual enjoyer to someone with profound and immense respect and gratitude for her.

I also remember hearing her say, when she was much younger, that it would be lonely if she was in competition with all others. At the time, that amount of purity irritated me. But I'm glad I'm now where that makes perfect sense to me and I could not agree more.

I believe that, at this point, if you don't recognize Taylor Swift's genius and gifts, you're being a fool. Maybe willfully ignorant and in denial for some messed-up reason. Though, of course, you're free to have preferences.

I had a grand and memorable day today, as it was filled with outstandingly beautiful art. 💗

Picking The Right Causes

Picking a cause can be tricky.

Usually, it is not a calculated choice but a calling upon being personally affected or having people close to you being affected by whatever wrong that should be righted. You experienced and/or witnessed something that put you on a path of caring about it. And the fact that you do, endows you with extra firmness and determination to stand up and fight for it.

When, instead, it is a calculated choice and you’re not strongly invested in it, you can still be of tremendous help to it, depending on your position to be of aid, but might not be as sacrificing when the moment comes to make hard decisions that will inconvenience you.

But as long as you’re making a positive and/or constructive contribution, do your motives really matter? Yes and no. Yes, they matter when they will dictate counterproductive behavior somewhere down the line and for understanding how much merit there truly is in it. And no, just because your motives aren’t 100% pure and selfless it shouldn’t completely invalidate your contributions and keep you from making more. But here’s a messy area of morals and ethics to untangle with each unique situation.

And how can you be sure that what you’re doing is right? You can’t always be. But you can keep aiming to do the right thing and continually inform yourself to further learn what that is.

Too often, people are misguided. They latch onto causes to fill a void, better their image, or as an excuse to be cruel while believing themselves justified. None of these are likely to end well. The cause or causes you live for should matter to you beyond yourself - whether you picked them with your heart, with your mind, or with both.

Some people are born and live through terrible circumstances that set them up to champion certain causes. But for some others, they may have to look around and dip their toes into different types of suffering to find the ones that resonate with them and that they can be moved into alleviating. For the latter, there’s the risk of choosing something shallow and making it clear to the world that they are out of touch with what is most important, that they have been privileged. But they must keep pushing for better if they are to be humanitarian.

Let’s never forget, however, that you do matter too. Being too self-sacrificing will only lead you to lose your ability to continue to be of assistance. You can be compassionate, but you must be wise as well. Thus, it is advisable to give from your abundance and not from your scarcity. To have limits on how much you let go of or go out of your way for others.

It is fine to have one or more causes dear to you even if they are not deemed a priority for most. As long as they are not ultimately vile. You can devote to those and then more if you can afford it. May be “what you were put on this earth for”.

How Does Solidarity Matter?

Imagine a world without any solidarity. None. Zero. Would you like to live there? Could you even survive it?

It tends to be overlooked, but solidarity is what holds relationships, communities, and even societies together. Having the genuine desire to be helpful to the people close to you, to those around you, or to everyone you can. Being fulfilled when you are. Glad to make things easier or better for others, not only for yourself.

This automatically makes you a gift to the world - or at least to the lives of those you’ve shown solidarity towards. Whether that’s appreciated or not is another matter. And so is reciprocation. But ultimately, it is a deed regardless.

However, good intentions are not enough. You may have to look at what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, why you’re doing it, when and where, and for whom. And that’s a lot to consider. There are no quick and easy answers to ensure you’ll always get it right. But you can start by asking what you can do to help (to yourself and/or to whom it concerns). Then pay attention to what unfolds.

It is comforting to believe that the good you do will be returned to you. If not tenfold, then at least in the same amount. But that doesn’t seem guaranteed. It is true that goodness flows and goes back and forth, but sometimes it is sent where it gets lost or hits a dead end. It may reach a malfunctioning or disabled conduit. Perhaps one that twists or destroys it. This does not mean that you should stop trying, it just means that there are intricacies to take note of.

And if you’re somebody who is naturally solidarious, attempting to be selfish will kill your spirit. Instead, seek others who also thrive in solidarity so that you can be your best self.

There will still be people who’d rather compete than cooperate. And some friendly (or at least civil) competition is fine and can promote competency. But lending a hand, having each other’s back, and so on, can also go a long way and build competence as well.

Christmas Celebration

In December, we celebrate Christmas!

It is the holidays, time to wrap it up and be merry and bright.
Maybe you aren't a Christian, and that's fine.
You can still enjoy what Santa brings or do your own thing.
What's important is to give yourself a break.
And share with others if you can.

Winter Season

In December, get ready to welcome the arrival of Winter!

Winter is the fourth season in the cycle. Considered a season of hibernation. 

It is when the cold finally sweeps in, possibly to a freezing degree. 

Being icy and sharp, forcing you under layers and layers of fabric, 

it invites you to be close to others or to hide away. 

Make the most of it before it all ends.

During this season, we are pushed to conclude and rest to be set for what's next.

How's The World's Culture Progressing This Year, 2023?

I started doing this last year, with the intention of continuing with it each year around the same date. Basically, a summary and/or a few highlights of my views and opinions on culture and its progress. You can read my 2022 article if you haven't already and then continue with this one!

My Personal Stance
It remains the same! As it has been from the very beginning, I stand for what is truthful, effective, and fair. I don’t yet have all the answers, but I do my best to consider and weigh different views and opinions to grasp the reality of the matter and find solutions to issues. Generally, I see that people are either ignorant, confused, misguided, malicious, pushing an agenda, or a combination of two or more of those. And I try to have patience but it can run out.

Cultural Progress in 2023
This year, I haven't delved much into the area of LGBTQ+, as it looks like more of the same to me. Essentially, movements having started with certain valid aims but being taken to outrageous degrees that I cannot agree with in sane judgment. And people in and outside of them being reasonable or unreasonable about them. Ultimately a fight between truths and lies. What I ended up seeing more of this year is the current state of relationships (and the dating scene) and I'd rather expand on that this time.

Points

A few aspects of how relationships are taken and dealt with came to my attention and it's been both infuriating and disappointing to me, who's relatively fine being single. I can't imagine what a nightmare it must be for those for whom this isn't the case. And many of the problems seem to arise from blindly taking relationship advice from people who are not really qualified for it and may be speaking from their trauma, wounds, ego, assumptions, or mere inexperience and ignorance. 

• 50/50

Sounds fair, right? Except it rarely is. Too often, the 50/50 deal fails to take into account numerous relevant factors and, in its insistence on splitting everything (or what's convenient) evenly, makes the relationship entirely transactional. One or the two would be overlooking or taking for granted the investments and sacrifices of the other, as well as particular strains that would make things harder for one than for another. What should be an agreement to both do their best to contribute to the relationship becomes instead a poorly calculated deal - where one or both could be blind to their shortcomings and deluded about the value that they bring. In its short-sightedness, it also fails to take into account that, as humans, you may not always be able to contribute a steady percent; one day you may be able to give an 80%, another a 50%, another a 10%, then a 30%, or a 75%, and so on. And the relationship is not looked at holistically. 

• High/Low Value Man/Woman

Some would judge this value based on character and virtue as they relate to what would foster and maintain a fulfilling relationship, which would make more sense to me. But the number of people making superficial judgments and basing them on trivialities is concerning to me (to say the least). Yes, it is fine to have preferences for what you like and value a certain set of traits more highly than another for your personal choices. But when you're making "objective" calls on what is or isn't high value, you should at least try to see beyond yourself and your conditioning. 

• Masculine/Feminine

This has gone on in more ways than I can count, defining and redefining. I have my own notions of what can be considered "masculine" and what can be considered "feminine" and I know that, ultimately, they're just categorizations that facilitate descriptions. But I've been coming across a few takes that make me want to ask if they hadn't learned anything - until I realize that they probably never attended the same classes I did and I cannot expect them to be on the same page with me. Ultimately, this isn't set in stone and your own understanding of it can be quite flexible (not to mention, subject to epochs). But when people arbitrarily attribute traits to one side or the other or are completely going off outdated and shallow stereotypes, I have to breathe in and breathe out. Something I can appreciate, though, is the subcategorization I've seen come up plenty lately, of the Wounded Masculine/Feminine. This adds more dimension to it and is worth pondering, in my opinion. As would be the typical Mature and Immature, and the Healthy and Unhealthy versions of each.

• Situationships

Are situationships more common these days or did I somehow step into a a stream of them? I would guess that even if it is the latter, it is also the former to an extent. It's like they are more normalized and people don't experience as much guilt or shame over them - even when it's clearly making the other uncomfortable. And given how lifestyles have changed, with both pressure to operate in certain ways and freedom to do whatever you like, for countless different reasons, it has become the go-to for many. And maybe I'm just tired and they would have been fine for me when I was younger and could be fascinated by romantic drama and dilemmas, but I find them extremely frustrating when grown adults are involved. You can and should do better than that. 

• Battered or Bettered

There's a trend going on about the boyfriend and the girlfriend effect. And while not unbiased (mostly showing the girlfriend effect as favorable while the boyfriend effect as disfavorable), it does bring us to the reality that some relationships make you worse and some make you better. And this can be seen in how healthy and happy you look while in them. In bad relationships, your hair, your skin, and more suffer. You also seem uncomfortable and awkward in what you wear and how you present yourself. Not to mention tired. In good relationships, it is the opposite. And I find it insane that even at this point in time you can still find people who take pride in treating their partner badly. As if they deserve applause for getting away with being a lousy partner that would be a good riddance. If you look at your partner and you're not compelled to be and do what would make them and their life better, something or someone is seriously lacking.

• Loneliness Epidemic

Then there's the "loneliness epidemic". Something that many have laughed at and rightfully so. I mean, look at how careless people are being with others and their relationships with them. And then they wonder why so many are now choosing to be single and have accepted singlehood. Do you want people to suffer and be miserable when they could just not? And it's not a matter of having to force relationships and make it so they're a requirement for much, it's that people are not bothering to be worthwhile and have worthwhile relationships. That even the most tolerating and accommodating person would rather opt out of them. You're not entitled to a relationship in this regard ever, but even less when you don't show devotion to them. 

Again. That’s all for now. I may still sporadically engage and elaborate on various topics, but expect the continuation of this post next year. Please stay lucid and keep improving!

Familiarity, Comfort, & Nourishment

Being in your zone of comfort, where things are familiar, isn’t necessarily bad. You may be deriving nourishment from it.

Maybe what you’re used to is not recommendable for you, maybe it is indeed something to move out and on from, and maybe it is holding you back from much better. You’re stuck there. And perhaps it is slowly killing you.

But this isn’t always the story. Sometimes we happen to land in environments that are enriching to us in one or more ways. Or we don’t have that fortune but devote ourselves to curating such a space for ourselves to at last be surrounded by what is best for us.

When that’s the case, leaving without return seems unwise. What is it out there that makes up for not being here? The possibility of challenges that lead to growth, yes. But should you be constantly on the go without anywhere to call home? That may or may not be for you.

There are things that you can do as a risk-taking wanderer and things that you can do while safely sheltered. And you can mix and switch between these two ends.

For someone with defined preferences, sticking to or at least often taking up what has proven to be beneficial to them, can make the entire difference between living a fulfilling life or not. But you must identify what that truly is, distinguishing it from what appears to be so but is no more than a detrimental addiction keeping you in a destructive cycle.

From there, you won’t feel so guilty about your “guilty pleasures”. Because they aren’t pleasures to feel guilty about, they are just pleasures that reward and treat you to what you need and more.

Lyrics Carried Within (3of4)

Another one! This one held dearly in my heart!

I was quite young when I first listened to this song, Celine Dion - Because You Loved Me. I had yet to form my concept of love and I liked so much how all this sounded.

I remember wishing I could someday have a love like that. And well... Guess what! The wish was granted. Not once, not twice, but several times. From minute to grand scales, from vaguely to precisely, from symbolically to literally. Romantic context aside, this is to me more of a sentimental matter. And indeed, I'll be forever thankful.

As I continue to grow and evolve, I become more able to fend for myself. So the situations I now can find myself in are less dire to me than the situations I could find myself in before, but I still appreciate the assistance in all the regards that can be covered. And similarly, I aspire to be able to give back.

Few things are as painfully lonely as being powerless (and handicapped) without anyone else to count on.

Once More, Thank you!

While we approach the end of this year and I begin wrapping it up, I'm again filled with gratitude for everyone who's been with me through it!

As it's usual, at least with me, things didn't go completely according to plan. It has been both less and more eventful than I expected. In that I couldn't do or participate in as many of the things I intended to, but was also met with more than I could have anticipated (delightful, terrible, mixed, and in between). All in all, it concludes mostly on a positive and constructive note, having made significant progress.

I'm truly thankful to those who believe in me and root for me, those supporting and assisting me, and those contributing in any or various ways. I haven't been able to be as present and engaged as I would have liked to, but you are not overlooked or taken for granted. (I'm just trying and failing to gracefully juggle and push forward to a point where I can give back more and better.)

Honestly, would not have been able to get anywhere near this point without your help. I may take my own credit, but I still see the ways in which you have patched and moved me toward higher and greater. And I'll continue to honor that in part by doing my best to stay on track, face challenges, overcome obstacles, minimize delays and detours, and keep my spirit.

Truly, thank you!