Maroon 5's Maps

I almost casually brought this up a while ago, eager to take a trip back in time, but I’m glad I didn’t. Because now I can do it more justice and forever keep around what is, among numerous loved ones, my #1 favorite song by Maroon 5.

Have you ever been accidentally stuck in a situation you are so pitifully unprepared for that you keep crying out, silently or out loud, “Why does this have to happen to me?! Why?!” And it is so incredibly harmful to your very fragile and vulnerable being that, although you can appreciate the good intentions, you resent anyone telling you that it will make you stronger and wiser? Well, something like that. That is where this song takes me to. Yet, I don’t hate it. On the contrary.

It’s been over a decade. And to answer the question: It gravely confused and weakened me. For years, I had to climb out of that hole, bit by bit, putting myself back together. So, no, I don’t recommend it. Yet, at the same time, I can’t deny that such misfortune did ultimately lead me to come back from it stronger and wiser. And just knowing not to ever go there again. Anymore.

If I ever claim to have your back, after you’ve had mine, and I haven’t explicitly cancelled that contract or excused myself for a valid reason, you can probably assume that I’m dead or so incapacitated I can’t even string words together in my brain. Because, yes, sometimes it IS that bad. Which is part of what makes the official music video so memorable to me. But beware, if you go see it, it is quite graphic.

What I personally hold on to the most, however, has got to be the line, “We drew a map to a better place.” It’s like the entire story gains and regains meaning from that line alone. Definitely miss the taste of a sweeter life and the conversation, too, though.

That is... Art

Creative people really be looking at the most disgustingly raw materials you've ever seen in your entire freakin' life and be like, "Yup, I can make a masterpiece out of that." 😵

Dreamers will be Dreamers

Yeah, no, I'm definitely not deleting older stuff. 'Cause, omg, THE MEANING.

August 30th, 2018. Excerpt from a personal post. My sister might visit soon! Very much looking forward to it! Sometimes dreams are so big and so far away (not to mention adversity-ridden) that they may take longer. Don't let that be what discourages you...

January 31st, 2017. Excerpt from a 'Back to Artsying' post. Sometimes I forget I used to let myself enjoy what little bit of magic I still had left in me. I'm concerned I'm becoming an adult in the worst sense of the word. Must fix. (Also, I'm not sure why I found it necessary to add the precise date when I made that, as opposed to when I posted it, but I probably had a reason.)

Too Magical, Gotta Save It For Later

It can sound totally fake, but it is true. Sometimes I spend months or even years without seeing a movie, or immersing in some other piece of artwork, because I figure it will be full of so much that I’d cherish that it’s best if I wait until I can take it in with all of its splendor. It might look like disinterest, ‘cause who is even able to delay gratification that much if there isn’t indifference going along with it? But believe it: I can. It’s not so much indifference that keeps me away, but how much I’d detest wasting what could have been an extraordinarily memorable moment to forever keep in my heart on an afternoon when I’m pissed off, restless, and just wishing it’ll all be over asap.

This can be irrational, indeed, and a poor decision, because sometimes it is exactly then that I most need that amount of magic inserted back into my life. But I can’t always help it. And it is part of what drives me to get my life back to a ‘soft era’ and have everything nice and comfy to indulge as my spirit yearns for. Getting there, getting there…

The prime example of this is Wonka.

Are you kidding me?! I still haven’t seen it!! Do you realize how special and significant Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was for me growing up?! I was still such a wonder-filled kid when I first witnessed that world. I don’t think even I realize just how much it truly means to me. I definitely didn’t want to watch Wonka while in a rush. I still don’t. BUT I WANT TO WATCH IT SO BAD. OMG.

Soon. Soon. Not this month. Maybe not even the next. But soon. Might have to break my rule of going with the seasons and instead recreate winter in my bedroom. But this year for sure. I’M SO SORRY, INNER CHILD. YOU’VE BEEN SO DEPRIVED.

The Artist's RPG / Components: Ferris Wheel

FERRIS WHEEL

FORCE

PERSPECTIVE - MEASURE - INSULATION

And why should it always be so serious? Why should it be so bleak? Why shouldn’t you enjoy yourself? Why shouldn’t you smile and laugh as much as you can? If every day is all you have, then shouldn’t those days be full of wonder?

“Ups and downs are inevitable, but suffering is not.”

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Everything changes when you look at it from a different angle, a vantage point, or a safe location. When you have enough reference, appropriate context, and a sense of proportion. When you can tell that some things are permanent and some are temporary. 

And why should it always be so serious? Why should it be so bleak? Why shouldn’t you enjoy yourself? Why shouldn’t you smile and laugh as much as you can? If every day is all you have, then shouldn’t those days be full of wonder?

What is bad may not be so bad, and what is good may not be so good. Crushing disappointments may occur, but also brilliant realizations. And the more you see, the more you gauge, the more you can make your own piece of heaven, even amidst hell.

Can you call it escapism if you are not missing out on anything worthwhile? If you have the best view in town? If memorable moments abound? And it is intriguing, thrilling, and fascinating. You are deepening and broadening your understanding. You are getting inspired and motivated. Not to survive, but to thrive.

Maybe, just maybe, we aren’t supposed to eternally live in a land of confusion. Maybe, just maybe, avoiding cruelty isn’t the problem. Maybe, just maybe, continuing to manufacture it is. Trauma after trauma after trauma. Unexamined, untreated, unresolved. If that is character development, what kind of character are you becoming?

Live on your terms. And have a fantastic life instead!

Hustler Much?

It is as if, hustling, as a last resort, is being idealized and romanticized. To cope with it, to deny the harm it can do. When you overdo it. 

There will be people taking pride and bragging about how they wear themselves to the ground, over and over, and how you should, too. But if you ponder it, what is really in it? Is the work they do even truly helpful, all things considered, directly or indirectly, to merit that sort of sacrifice? Sadly, you will find that, quite often, it is not. On the contrary, rather than a net-positive, it is a net-negative.

There is going to be work that you don’t love, but still ought to do, and there is no denying that. Sometimes you must push yourself to meet a standard, a deadline, a quota, when you’d rather be resting. But if you are severely jeopardizing yourself in the process, continually overlooking your deterioration, who is that going to help? You could lose what made you qualify in the first place, becoming bitter, fried, numb, or even end up suffering from complications that fully disable you and disqualify you.

It is not about being a lazy bum, which won’t be that enjoyable after a while, either. It is about preserving yourself so that you can continue or start giving your best. And depending on your field and what it requires from you, this would be more or less imperative.

You can challenge yourself, improve your strengths, and develop past your weaknesses. But you can also be systematic and strategic enough to minimize strain and maximize return. Work with rather than against yourself. It shouldn’t be a race to be the most damaged, but to be capable, competent, and ultimately formidable. And for that, you OUGHT to stay in shape. Mentally, emotionally, physically…

Yet, part of staying in shape, in more than one aspect, is to go through the ‘tasks’ of rest, repair, and refill. Even machines do it, and you believe yourself above it? Book that as though it is part of your job, because, if you make art, it is. And save yourself from “mysterious” illnesses and injuries. Or just pathetically low or merely mediocre performance. If you have control over your schedule, there is no excuse.

Look at how much more you can accomplish when you bounce back from effective breaks. How your mood affects your mindset, how your mindset affects your outlook, how your outlook affects your approach, and how your approach affects your results. It is worth it.

Amy Macdonald's I'm Done

It took me quite a while to come back to Amy Macdonald, but I finally did. And whoa, it was immediately electrifying, all over again! I couldn’t get enough of the songs I loved in the past and would repeatedly replay them. Now I’m being blown away by all the power contained in more recent ones, such as I’m Done.

Believe it or not, I was just some kid when I first listened to Amy Macdonald. A young adult, if you’d rather I be precise. Lost as I could be. It was around the time I had just left the city for the town life and, in her music, not only did I find solace - it was as though it got rid of YEARS of baggage I was carrying. How is that sort of magic even possible? It is, it very much is! She is proof of it. And I’m ecstatic that she continues to be active, making art imbued with more of what her spirit brings.

It is wild for me to think about everything that’s happened all up to this point. From practically breaking under the pressure of a lifestyle that was never meant for me, having little to no mental or emotional fortitude, unclear about everything, to standing firm and unshakable in what is undeniable. The needlessly hurried, shallow, directionless, and basically rootless approach I was being urged to take was killing me. But, thankfully, now I know better, and such nonsense doesn’t stand a chance anymore. Maybe that’s for you. Me? Hard pass.

In I’m Done, I particularly love how playing games is a theme. Not only that, though. There are many key aspects touched on that relate to taking back your destiny. Not merely in a “What are this year’s resolutions?” kinda way, but in a more devastatingly profound and grand manner. Thoroughly resolute, no matter how long it takes (or what it takes). Calling it a reset would be the understatement of the century.

This one is resonating with me down to my core and further beyond...

It’s True, Though, It Shouldn’t Be Imposed

I just want to make it extra clear that I do believe that, if you are wounded, you should take your time and go at your own pace, in order to repair yourself. I would never want to be someone who rushes or even forces ‘recovery’ onto others. 

Some things are way more complex, profound, and delicate than they may appear on the surface. So, “just get over it” wouldn’t do. And I believe it is especially important to have a place and people with whom you can feel and be safe from careless or clumsy attempts at ‘fixing’ you. Or worse, demand that you “forgive and forget”, then open yourself to even more harm. But yes, indeed, being sheltered is ultimately not enough. Ideally, you’d eventually, likely gradually, get to the point where, if you haven’t already, things don’t bother you as much or at all anymore, where you are not triggered to relive trauma or sent into a state of fear and panic. That begins with security on the outside and is completed with security on the inside. Furthermore, even as a fully healed person, there are simply experiences that you’d rather steer clear of, as both your time and energy are precious (and for you to invest accordingly), and you should be free to do that too. 

Live your best life, not a life attempting to prove to anyone that you ‘matured’ and ‘evolved’ and can again and again endure and tolerate stuff that you’re better off without. I’m with you in that. And I'm wishing that the means for it never lack and are always within your reach. ✌

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures?

What are the odds that precisely the day when I’m, let’s just say… PMSing like hell, like I haven’t in who knows how long, this song, with no other than Chester Bennington, is playing so loud that I just can’t miss it? I don’t know, but amidst the pain and suffering, it was as comforting as it could possibly be. Though the irony of it got me chuckling through the tears, too.

It is extra odd because Linkin Park is not a band that’s usually blasted out around here. That alone, in itself, is a very rare event. And it, thankfully, happened to also coincide with my needing to be cheered up.

That is One More Light. I looked up the lyrics because, even if I’ve listened to a song countless times, I can’t always instantly recall all the words in it. “Should've stayed. Were there signs I ignored?” This line somehow hit me like a callout for not paying enough attention to my surroundings. I don’t know! Were there signs I ignored? Hm.

In any case, here’s another peek into my everyday life, since I figure many of you have no idea what happens behind the screen, whether it’s miserable or wonderful. (In this case, it was both.)

I’m not even going to say which one was on before it.

Just go have a great day today! And stay magical, magical beings. 🤍✨

Components in The Abstract Plane

It's been a while since I last posted The Conceptual Plane's Components and there have been various changes and additions since then. So here it is again! Updated. To be able to come back to as we go over each this year.

It looks 'complete' by now, but what do I even know? All I can be sure of is that these are the ones I'll be able to cover this year. If more are discovered later, they likely will have to be left for another round.

And you might ask, "But how are we supposed to know what our top components are if more keep appearing without notice?!" And that's a good question. We can't be 100% sure. HOWEVER, the worst that can happen is that you figure your Top 5 out of the visible ones here and, if another one appears that would make it into your Top 5, it would simply push one or more to the side and one out of the frame. They're all still very you, just that another highlightable one very much is. We live, we learn. 💁 

As for what's new: 

• I realized (as I worked on a spreadsheet to save dates) that the Complex Combo Components fit with the seasons. And was nudged to include that? And I mean, yes, indeed. The Seasons as Concepts are relevant here, too. So there you have them! Lots can happen in each season, of all sorts, but they come with a 'default' energy.

• To be safe, I also marked the Non-Recommendable Components with a Caution sign. And added a tiny yellow dot next to the ones that are a better option in their place. A concept to be addressed more thoroughly later on.

• There are also two peculiar components that I'm looking forward to but am keeping my mouth shut for now. They've been featured before, but it's only recently that I figured out enough of what they truly represent.

• Lots of Blue, as the Assembly that it is, but also more Yellow for Discovery. 🌞

I'm having a blast with this. I don't think I'll ever get bored with it. Haha.

Thank you for helping me spot and include so many of them!

And thank you for joining in this very nerdy venture. 

You know who you are. 🎨🤓💞 

Components? But…

When I queued the parts I’d be looking into each week, throughout the year, I was kinda mad at how I jumped straight into the components themselves before going over the different types of groups of components. It seemed backwards. Because I’m such a big-picture-first person and do a lot of it like that. But it’s turning out for the better because there’s still plenty I’ve yet to realize and I just realized more that I would have hated to leave out.

E.g. The Catalysts. I’d always perceived them as having plenty of Black (a.k.a. Dark) because they’re such rebels to the fabric of reality (and just to counterproductive or even regressive rigidity), but now I’m seeing more of how Black (a.k.a. Dark) manifests in them. And it’s blowing my mind! Turns out they can be ON while appearing OFF. And there’s a whole bunch of peculiarities in that.

But worry not, I’m getting to that by the end of this round, before going into what the different planes are, and then jumping into The Structured Plane and its components. Plus, I can still share bits here and there before and after wrapping up any description.

Furthermore! THERE’S SO MUCH MORE TO DISCOVER. I’m trying to hit key aspects of things when I post about them weekly, but with the aim to trigger more of what it could imply and entail. It definitely doesn’t end there. And if this is my life’s work (it is), there are countless opportunities up ahead to keep expanding on and covering everything in numerous forms. I’M HYPED!

So, I present to you, my configuration - revised. Also, can’t wait til enough information is out so that more people can figure out what their configurations are. I’ll eventually make a sorting Quiz app, but you know how I feel about quizzes and accuracy. It is better if you get to know what’s out there and what’s within you to get your answers. But quizzes can be a fun jumpstart, too.

Yes. The order matters. Significantly so. 😮

Sun Overview

In the case of the Sun, it primarily affects your core identity and conscious self. The Sun, just as it stands at the center of the solar system and radiates life-sustaining light, represents vitality, purpose, and the animating life force. Essentially, the Sun stands for the initial flame and personal arc. And it is in and through it that confidence, leadership, and authentic self-expression develop.

When it comes to the Sun, the sign Leo shares certain similarities and is said to be ruled by it.

What are Planetary Placements?

For context and more of relevance, please read about The Zodiac.

Cats Hanging Out, Luv, Luv, Luv

In a more wholesome note, I absolutely love it when there's a huge group of cats and they're hanging out with each other, having fun and more. It doesn't bother me at all to go "ignored". I don't even take it like that. It's only bad if they're being lil' jerks or plotting against me somehow. And sad if not a single one wanted to come up to me at any point (cuz wth?). But I'm not a very social person, not very energetic in general, so I do well with minimal interactions. In fact, it is awesome that they can be friends. 💗

Following the Herd? Don't Go There!

Don’t do the thing everybody else is doing, as though it is okay, even though it is not. If you have already started, it is never too late for you to stop (whether or not you have forever lost good people because of it). But especially if you have NOT done it, do not start now. It is not okay, no matter how many people are doing it. Maybe they are vile or maybe they have an extremely valid reason for it that justifies it (and you do not). If you habitually do the wrong thing, at most, you only have potential for others as a 'convenient asset', nothing more. And that may be generous and/or have you on "thin ice".

The Artist's RPG / Components: Fog

FOG

FORCE

SURFACE - SCRIPT - CONVENIENCE

One step at a time, no leaps of faith, prudence. You don’t know what is out there. You can’t see that far. You are not prepared. What if it is more than you can handle? What if it is more than you’d choose to handle? What if you’d simply rather not handle it at all? Avoid, avoid, avoid. This has kept you safe. This is sensible.

“Sometimes lacking effort. Sometimes the required effort.”

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There is a manner of doing things. It is what you have seen. It is the set of instructions that you were given. It is the routine that you stick to. It is the habits that die hard. It is what you like to call… discipline. Though it may be something else. But it works. Somehow.

One step at a time, no leaps of faith, prudence. You don’t know what is out there. You can’t see that far. You are not prepared. What if it is more than you can handle? What if it is more than you’d choose to handle? What if you’d simply rather not handle it at all? Avoid, avoid, avoid. This has kept you safe. This is sensible.

Alarms go off, and you panic. What is that unfamiliar sound? It cannot be good. It definitely isn’t. Because it is new and it is different, and you don’t know what to do with that. It is not what you were expecting. It complicates.

But you are no coward, not necessarily. You will get through it, one way or another, if you must. Taking what you are used to and mixing it with what you encounter. What is right and what is wrong be damned. There is only survival and making it to where you ought to be. And that is back to where there are no threats. Taking risks and expanding your horizons is overrated.

You are baffled. Why would anyone deviate? Didn’t they see what happened to the person who did that? They were insane! Repetition is fine. Repetition is preferred. Repetition brings you the same. Let’s not be original, let’s imitate.

I will shrink, I will stagnate, and I will be adequate. How dare you insinuate I am miserable!

NOTE: This is a component to use with extra caution or dismiss completely, as it operates against art when unchecked. 

People-Pleaser Much?

Is being a people-pleaser worth it? When you’re the book definition of a people-pleaser, the only people you really please are other people-pleasers and abusers - people who are more than happy to endlessly be catered to and pleased.

All while increasingly losing yourself to a fog of falsehoods because your true thoughts and feelings may not be compatible with what you would believe would be ‘pleasing’. You may even stop having your own, as you no longer pause to ask yourself what you feel or think about a situation. Instead, you instantly go to ponder or (in even more lousy attempts) assume what another or others might prefer from you.

Don’t get it twisted, however. To stop being a people-pleaser, as described above, you don’t have to go all the way opposite to it and become a “people-displeaser”, choosing only yourself at all times or even going out of your own way to ‘prove’ that you won’t bother at all about others. That would likely put you in the abusers category.

The issue is that, if you wish to be authentic, whole, and secure in yourself, being a people-pleaser won’t take you there. You might get applause, acceptance, and belonging, but that’s not truly directed at and embracing all of you, is it?

People-pleasing can be a requirement to survive dangerous and dire situations, and a lot of us come from or go through that in life, so it is understandable. However, when it is carried out without a legitimate need for it, it can turn into something far uglier. What may have started as a habit then becomes manipulation for status and more, whether within an individual’s priorities or within a group’s hierarchy. And perhaps you are all playing that same game as if it is the norm, while secretly resenting each other or just having lower opinions than those shared. And if that is your world, you are free to stay in it.

Nevertheless, when it comes to actually having and showing humanity, the drive to please others comes from different motivations. And calling you a ‘people-pleaser’ when that is the case would be inaccurate. It is not about pleasing. It is about considering others, caring for them, and wishing to contribute to them, for their sake. Yet, simultaneously, doing so, if they are worthy of such gestures (or you are merely, unfortunately, under that impression), it will bring you fulfillment, too. Especially if you were able to contribute from parts of you that are unequivocally you. You are simply being, existing as you are, and that is enough.

So when you take yourself into account, respecting and loving yourself, not only do you discover more of who you are, but you also treat yourself to what you both need and want, as a human, which will literally be filling you with more to give, making you more abundant. In what? Who knows! Whatever your particular brand of human is.

It can be lonely; it is not a recipe for guaranteed and immediate popularity. But it is on you to decide whether you will invest in yourself, to bring forth your best version and reach your potential, or in some nebulous and evershifting concept you can adapt or contort yourself into. If the latter comes easily for you, it may be the sensible option. But if it is painfully unbearable, you should definitely look into completely dropping people-pleasing.

It Is Bad Out There

Affirm with me: If I do not have the power to change the world at large, I may have the power to affect significant portions of it. And if I cannot do that either, I may have the power to better the lives of many. And if I also cannot manage that, I may have the power to shelter and mend a few from the cruelties of the world. Aiming high, but I am taking what I can get.

Snaps & Thumbnails? Plus More...

As I continue to move more of my fangirlism to this site, a few things have come up.

• Given that, at least when it is a full 'Event' sort of thing, I have an entire post dedicated to trailers and teasers alone, it seems too redundant for me to use trailers on my "feedback" post as well. So I went with taking a few snaps instead (added 3 more). Is that alright? Should I keep going like that?

• I do treasure my old posts, trust me. I'm never deleting them. I'm just still waiting for that year when things are mostly settled and running on their own, so that I can dedicate myself to digging through everything and bringing back all the posts that are still of relevance. I'll probably leave some hidden that I'll later quote or take excerpts from, too. But they're safe, waiting for their time to shine.

• I'm aware that I'm not everybody's cup of tea and I will never be everybody's cup of tea. If that's your thing, then more power to you. Really. But it's not mine. My type of 'Perfect' is not other types of 'Perfect'. I'm still striving for my type of perfect and that's all you can expect from me. In time, with practice. Believe me, I cringe at my own stuff. A LOT. But sometimes that's all I can put out and call it a day. Basically, though, I wish to be able to look back at what I make as though they are portals to a moment, within a time and place, and trigger memories of such. That's my aim and my priority.
• If you see me not posting more often what I love, it's likely not because I didn't get enough likes or whatever, it's that, as I've been saying, I'm too stressed and overwhelmed these days to afford myself that luxury. So don't worry about me in that regard, I know how to be boring and annoying AND own it. (But yeah, still totally love hearing when somebody genuinely enjoys what I do.)

(Also, fixed some typos in my previous posts. WTH? 2027 instead of 2016. How did that even happen? Now I'm scared I'll live out The Martian again in 2027. NO. PLEASE. NO. 😩)

Project Hail Mary (References)

I may be wrong, but maybe it is somehow connected? Impossible not to think back to La La Land with Ryan Gosling there and to The Martian with Andy Weir also there. Especially with how they didn’t shy away at all from bringing up those films as they promoted Project Hail Mary. (Ryan even joked about redoing a scene with Rocky instead. This time, having his hand in a different direction, which had been haunting him?)

I caught Grace play-pretending a dance, while alone in space, that resembled one of Sebastian and Mia’s. Or was that just a silly moment? Like the glass tapping scene? Tapping is fun!

Anyhow and anyway, I wrote about both of those films too, in the past, so I had to go down memory lane. Like, I have to. It's what I do. So... LOOK HERE. It’s LA LA LAND AND THE MARTIAN WE’RE TALKING ABOUT. Do I have your attention now? But then again, ADDers will ADD. And that’s probably fine, too. ‘Cause… references. Sometimes they apply. Sometimes. Etc.

Okay, what could I have possibly written back then?

July 22, 2018. Excerpt from a La La Land post. You know what? I’m soooo thankful that Project Hail Mary took a different turn. I craved that happy ending. Romantic or not. Sentimentality can be just as wonderful.

January 4, 2016. Excerpt from a The Martian post. Actually, all the text. It was a quick post. But why was I ending each and every single sentence with an exclamation mark in the first paragraph? Was I shouting or what? Strange.

Time flies. And one day is not enough for everything I’d like to delve into regarding Project Hail Mary and all it may entail and imply. So happy I can nerd out on it forever!

Project Hail Mary (2026)

I’m just gonna gush about it to my heart’s content ‘cause there’s no way I can do justice to everything in it by being collected and articulate. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS MOVIE. Zero exaggeration. And though I hate to be down, it’s as if I got to see it right when I needed it the most. With everything currently going on. And it picked me up like I could have never imagined. What an out-of-this-world treat!

I’m so incredibly inspired and motivated by grand and crucial missions, although, of course, I wouldn’t want to LITERALLY be in his shoes. But putting things aside so that you can help save, well, everything? Now that’s a calling for a higher purpose. Merely being a witness to that filled me with awe and so much more.

Question. What’s up with the way Grace woke up from his coma, though? That both intrigued and concerned me. How does that go internally? With memories not coming back immediately and whatnot? Are some forever lost and inaccessible? Are people even the same person afterward? Or…? I wonder.

It caught me by surprise how intertwined the concept of death and passing away was, too. How thoughtfully and carefully it was handled. Everything from honoring the crew members by basically promising not to let their efforts be in vain to how Rocky is practically moved to be extra attentive due to his losses. Sometimes I think that honoring the dead and, simultaneously, holding on to those still alive with us is a lost art. But it wasn’t lost here at all.

And speaking of Rocky and being thoughtful and careful, it was such a kind gesture to bother to help find him a voice that suited him. That scary one? Yikes! The following ones? Off, just off. Until that one that did convey his playful (and sorta annoying) nature. In general, he was so adorably depicted, while still going over and embracing his range as a character, that it easily melted my heart. The party hats, too, I can barely handle this much endearment!

The possibility of him dying and them having a sad ending, however, had me FRETTING. You could probably say that I was silently screaming, too. No, no, no. I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT. Imagine the relief when they both made it safely. Then imagine the joy when, to top it all off, they even had a world to themselves with other little aliens taking classes.

Overall, it was beyond beautiful. Profoundly so. I sincerely have trouble even believing that something like this exists and I got to be there for it. My body may be tired, but my spirit can now go on and on.

Words of encouragement. Words of GREAT encouragement.

Project Hail Mary At The Cinema (Come Along)

Virtually being there. Arriving, looking around, leaving. Ultimately figured it was best to keep it as raw as possible, visually and audibly. So it could most realistically capture and share my pov during this event. Then I heard what was playing, unintentionally recorded, but... agreed. It is a shame that we don’t talk anymore the way we used to do. That much resonates. I miss my pals. Someday, though, someday. I’ll be at ease at last... 

Project Hail Mary At The Cinema (Peculiar Decor)

Check out this peculiar decor! It was one of the first things I saw when I went into the theater and, not gonna lie, it put a smile on my face. That’s so cool! It’s a sort of a blend of green and blue, too. Feels like a significantly meaningful synchronicity somehow! Because of reasons. Iykyk.

Project Hail Mary At The Cinema

There will come a time when I’ll fondly look back to this day as the day I went to the movie theater to watch the unforgettable Project Hail Mary movie. Heck, I’m already doing that. So, of course, I HAD to take plenty of pictures.

Turns out there’s no longer a movie theater right next to where I stay at, the one I went to see Barbie in, so I had to walk a little further away to another nearby one. And I guess that’s inviting me to switch it up more. Visit different places. Have different experiences and surroundings to take in. 

I went extra early, for the earliest show, so that I could have all the time I needed and wanted to take it all in. Have a little more solitude, too. In the end, it was only a few of us sitting (eventually comfortably leaning back). It is usually more crowded later on and on weekends. We also experienced a few technical difficulties in the middle of it and it turned me into a Karen. NO WAY I’ma miss even seconds of it. (They offered to refill our snacks in apology, on the house, and that was nice.)

I got my snacks, ready to immerse. Trust me, I looked for Skittles, ‘cause they seemed like an appropriate snack for it, but there weren’t any around. So this had to do. The unbearable IRONY when they appeared in the movie. Tsk, tsk. Also, such a bummer that they didn’t have any themed packaging, but I’m not complaining. I had a blast watching the film, regardless, got me starry-eyed all the way through. Yes, very AMAZE, AMAZE, AMAZE.

Project Hail Mary (Trailers)

You know, I’d seen it around. And normally, I’d want to watch movies like this. Yet, as I’ve been saying, it’s been stressful and overwhelming times these past few months for me, so I was sort of forcing myself to not mind it - until I couldn’t anymore. What do you mean, the sun is dying? THE SUN? That’s a topic that speaks to me!

So, thankfully, I’m not sure what possessed me exactly, but it did, maybe a desperate yearning for some magic to be able to keep facing this crude and cruel reality, I could pause and actually pay attention. And it did look like something I definitely shouldn’t miss! Whoa!

Ryan Gosling's movies are memorable. The author of The Martian is behind it. And I cannot think of a better song than Sign of the Times to go around. Also, that’s a… very compelling trailer. I’m in!

As if I wasn’t already bought, the second trailer further intrigued me. With a more serious tone, though still with its comic reliefs, it pretty much made it clear that this is indeed serious. Got me going, “Uh, oh. That bad?” I’ve never read the book, so I’m quite clueless at this point. But ok, ok. I’m locked in!

Then on to the final trailer. Damn. The gravity of the situation. The weight of that line. “The world is counting on you.” Imagine being someone who sees themselves as merely a school teacher and being hit with this. Among other things, I’d be in disbelief. Make sense of it all you want, but still. Jeez. It’s like, hello, we need an adult here. And you haven’t come to terms with the fact that YOU are the adult. And again, omg. You’ve got to be kidding. What have we come to?

It’s Called Fashion, Look It Up (Literally)

Y’all, you wouldn’t believe this! If you know me, you’d know that my grandmother is fundamental, essential, and indispensable to who I am and what I do. Having protected, supported, and raised me with care for my particular gifts. And as such, I do my best to honor her and her legacy.

I always knew she was an intelligent woman, being a strict math teacher, but I hadn’t realized she could be such a nerd! What in the outer space is she wearing?!

I can’t tell if I never noticed before, or I did and somehow completely forgot, and then proceeded to assume it was some generic pattern or something else, not pausing to truly look, but she really went and posed for a professional photograph wearing a vest with outer space motifs?

It’s as though it’s been written all along.

Project Hail Mary's Day Itinerary

  6AM - Personal (related) realization
10AM - A look at the trailers
  2PM - Come with me to the theater
  6PM - My feedback
10PM - It made me recall…

It’s Project Hail Mary’s Day!

The artwork, in this case, is no less than Project Hail Mary (the movie).

It hasn’t left my mind since the moment I realized it was a movie I just HAD to see. But it is this Friday that I’ll go all out about it. Yet, again, just because I post a ton about a thing, it doesn’t mean I’m done with it forever. Project Hail Mary, how could I ever move on from you? (Seriously, just following their media posts gives me life. You should too if you haven’t already!)

An Eventful Day

I did it for the first time for an album. I’m doing it for the second time for a movie. And so on it will be.

I’d been pondering what the best approach is for this kind of field day, when I get to unabashedly fangirl art. Splitting it can be frustrating, but dropping it all at once can be overwhelming. However, I’ve come to the conclusion that, if you’d rather have it all at once, just check for it once I’m done posting all the parts throughout the day.

Also, it’s pretty much gonna be a pattern, so there’s no point in my trying to be too suspenseful. And then again, if you’d rather not have the ‘surprise’ spoiled, just completely avoid looking at the itinerary post that will go along.

So, be ready, if you want to have an eventful day where art reigns supreme!
(To engage with in the same and/or the following days.)

Notifying about Events? Of Course!

Can't go without shouting about events!
Stay tuned to catch a 'notification' and/or check the Events' Notification section to see what has already been posted...

Welcome, Regardless

Speaking of niceties and pleasantries...

I've said it before, but it's worth saying again. You are welcome in my space, however you got here, if you are genuinely an artistic spirit that makes art for the love of it. I just happen to be still caught up in a 'Loading' phase, so I cannot receive (celebrate and host) everyone as it is merited yet. But if you're making life, people, and/or the world better, and this place is making you better, then I love to have you around!

And may you have a good time before a more proper meeting!

Niceties & Pleasantries Not Required

When you know what you are doing, give yourself the chance to do what you oughta do. Not everybody has to understand it and accept it - or even follow along. You don’t need permission from others for every single step you take. You may have the option to report back and let them chime in, and that can go in your favor, but keep it from detracting from your work. Furthermore, you can minimize distractions (including socialization). Being "rude" in that sense won’t matter at all when results (and simply moving toward them) make up for it.

The Artist's RPG / Components: Dark

DARK

FORCE

BELOW - SHADOW - VENGEANCE

What is repressed and suppressed, hidden from sight, treated as taboo. Thoughts not explored, feelings not expressed. Words that were never said and were instead kept locked inside. They grow in that damp, cramped space. While lacking room to further expand, they condense. They won’t be the same as the first day. After a while, it is not only a mess. It also gets intense.

“The way downward is not painless. With tenacity, you will yield to the pull.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Darkness exists, acknowledged or not. You can face it, go into it, become familiar with it, and even wield it. Or you can pretend it is not there and let it do with you what it will, as you contort yourself in failed attempts to deny it. It is understandable to be scared, of course, for who knows what lurks in there?

What is repressed and suppressed, hidden from sight, treated as taboo. Thoughts not explored, feelings not expressed. Words that were never said and were instead kept locked inside. They grow in that damp, cramped space. While lacking room to further expand, they condense. They won’t be the same as the first day. After a while, it is not only a mess. It also gets intense.

Secrets, schemes, things you’d rather take to the grave. There’s an appeal to them. Digging and leaving no stone unturned can be more thrilling than what would sound sane to admit. How many skeletons are in your closet? Are there creatures under your bed? Perhaps a curse that runs in your family?

It is smirking at the idea of someone getting what they deserve. And in some cases, making it so. What? Was that cruel? It didn’t seem to be an issue when the cruelty was theirs. They brought it upon themselves. Yet, they probably won’t see it coming. Spite can keep this running for a very, very long time. 

Being the “bad guy”? That’s fine. Sometimes the only way to beat a monster is to outmonster it. Your time in the dark shows you exactly how. The fear was merited.

So You're Trying to be Helpful rather Than Unhelpful...

Surprisingly, not everybody is out only for themselves. There are still a few people around who, when they see another in pain and suffering, they are compelled to help. As though your troubles are theirs. Rather than completely eager to jump to the rescue, however, they may be guarded and overral reluctant, for one reason or another, but still wish they could do something about it.

These people, who are capable of both empathy and compassion, have likely encountered a handful of ungrateful and exploitative beings that took advantage of their caring nature. And if they haven’t, they may have been warned. And if neither of those, then… hopefully, they will somehow make it through when it happens. Without losing themselves. Without getting stuck in bitterness and cynicism. Without staying depleted, damaged, or even broken.

It is risky business, indeed. A “weakness” some would say, attempting to belittle or even discourage it. Yet, ultimately, it is a set of abilities that can be mastered to the point where it causes no harm. Not to others and not to yourself. Besides, some of us have found that ‘disowning’ that side of us leaves us lacking purpose, and literally debilitates us, so it is not really a recommendable option, not even for our own sake, to become indifferent or even selfish.

But how can you be helpful? When somebody is ill and/or wounded, psychologically or otherwise, it is a very delicate matter. So just wanting to be helpful won’t do. You will have to genuinely want the issue to be taken care of, whatever it takes for that to be. This means that this isn’t a moment for you to shine. It might turn out that way, if you successfully manage to tend to it, but that shouldn’t be the point.

Be attentive!

• Forget what you want. What do they need?

• Is your interference welcome or at least indispensable?

• Is there something to remove or clean up?

• Are there ways to lower or distract from the pain and suffering while working on it?

• Are they missing nourishment of some sort?

• How gentle, subtle, and discrete should you be about it?

• Would mere company, whether silent or validating, bring comfort?

• Is it time to step back and let time (and new experiences) do the rest?

It should go without saying, but I’ll say it anyway: Being in a vulnerable position, unless you enjoy playing the victim, is not at all fun. It might be okay to bring some humor to it and lighten things up a little if that’s something you can pull off and they appreciate it. But making it so that it is humiliating to receive or require your help borders on or crosses over to being sadistic. Abstain.

All this said, if your intentions were good and you still messed up, apologize and (if due) make amends. Depending on the severity, it will be fine sooner or later. And you will be remembered as someone who tried.

Furthermore, always remember that you, too, matter. Overextending yourself will put you in a position where you can no longer help so well. And overextension can refer to anything from doing more than you can handle to doing for abusers what could have been done for somebody more reciprocal and honorable, or simply innocent.

That's Not Power

There is a difference between being powerful and having access to power (or being granted power). Quite often, powerless individuals lean on the latter to appear the former. The excessive displays of "power" tell on them. When they can hardly sit still or be quiet for long, when almost or even anything can rile them up, when the spotlight is not on them and they rudely act out to get it back on... that is a powerless person desperate to hold on to power that they do not legitimately have. And many people can see it.

The Artist's RPG / Components: Light

LIGHT

FORCE

ABOVE - INTEGRITY - JUSTICE

Having the moral high ground and being the moral authority can surely be appealing. And often, it attracts those who are anything but ethical, wishing to enjoy its benefits, as they pretend to fit the role. But this isn’t about self-righteousness. Nor is it about vain indignation. Or merciless cruelty in the name of a ‘noble’ cause. This is about principles, values, and standards to uphold, with little to no room for hypocrisy.

“The way upward is not always blatant. Armed with resolve, you will push through.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When wickedness stands in front of you, surrounds you, or even encompasses you, how do you move? Do you join it, let it hold you, and become a part of it, or do you do something else? Do you absolutely eviscerate it? Or at least resist it? This is more than purity and more than innocence. This is a force that wraps around you, slips within you, and drives you to banish what is wrong, unfair, and corrupt.

Having the moral high ground and being the moral authority can surely be appealing. And often, it attracts those who are anything but ethical, wishing to enjoy its benefits, as they pretend to fit the role. But this isn’t about self-righteousness. Nor is it about vain indignation. Or merciless cruelty in the name of a ‘noble’ cause. This is about principles, values, and standards to uphold, with little to no room for hypocrisy.

Far from complacent, it seeks coherence and congruence in views, opinions, and beliefs. What is at your core and what emanates from it? Does it bring confusion, or does it bring clarity? Does it push against falsehoods and deceit, or does it conform to them? Can it hold what are merely apparent conflicts and cast out undeniable contradictions? Does it stand for truth? And ultimately, for what is good?

What is questionable cowers in the presence of this light. Perceived as a threat, accurately so, they will be guarded. Some only avoid it, some shun it, some attempt to dim it. Some would even desperately try to smear it, to strip its credibility and any power it may have to unveil them. To show them as they are and for what they owe. What a frightening existence to be forever on the run, knowing that lousy facades don’t stand a chance against it, and you can only pray to be spared.

As an Agent of Change & Progress...

You should take seriously what is serious. At one point or another, you become the adult. That is, the person who is responsible not only for yourself, but also for others. And it may be tempting to endlessly delegate this burden. But then you look around and realize that everything is going downhill because you haven’t stepped up as the grown-up.

Yes, it can be heavy, frightening even, and you may suffer from imposter syndrome, wondering about whether or not you are even capable of such a role, worrying you will make it worse rather than better. But this paralysis is not a valid excuse to forever put off what evolution itself is counting on you for. You are supposed to help carry things forward. Otherwise, what are you doing?

You are not alone in the fight and, even if you were, it can start with you. When it looks as though everyone is headed toward their own destruction, or the destruction of everything else that does not concern them, you must stand firm in being somebody who doesn’t just roll with it. Eventually spot or urge others to join you in it.

Then, if you have taken it upon yourself, against all 'convenience', how do you even go about it? How do you move toward better rather than worse?

• Work on yourself first and foremost. Not to get stuck there, solely invested in that, but as what’s by default. If you are in poor condition, there is only so much that you can successfully tend to. Check your ego, check your distortions, check your competence, improve yourself, and so on.

• Actively practice discernment with honesty. Truth hurts, and reality can be harsh, but you cannot make good decisions while operating upon illusions and lies. You might “get along” and “get ahead”, but you wouldn’t be working in alignment with what is. A lousy foundation to say the least. Take it in small doses if you ought to.

• Identify existing problem areas. Look around. What do you see? Search for problems that must be addressed and solved. How many of those are you equipped to handle or assist with? If there is nothing or little that you can do, you probably can bring attention to them for others more capable to take over. Prioritize as required.  

• Have a solutions-oriented mindset. Challenges and obstacles abound. And as if that’s not enough, likely sabotage too. You will be easily discouraged and even give up if you don’t constantly remind and ask yourself for what could be done about this and that. Instead of resorting to merely weighing how hard and difficult something is.

• Be resourceful and willing to get your hands dirty. You may have been taught or conditioned to seek perfection and set the perfect example, proving yourself and others how much you can properly accomplish, but this isn’t about you and your capabilities - this is about getting results towards what’s right.

Clearly, it all is infinitely more complex, but these are 5 points to carry with you, while under various sets of circumstances, and send you on your way.

Where'd It Go?

Spring cleaning? More like push everything into the closet and hope it doesn't somehow spill out. 😩

I set to Private the accounts I will no longer be using to post or repost. I also set to Private many posts and reposts on accounts I'm still using. Don't worry, nothing is deleted. It's just stored away for when I can take the time to truly dig into all of it and bring back what's for keeps.

Just one of numerous steps I'm taking this year to get to the next phase... ✌

Taking Nail Polish Meaningfully (Pt.2)

Well, this is embarrassingly untimely. It is no longer winter, and I no longer live there. But I must do it anyway. This is the continuation and culmination of my previous post, Taking Nail Polish Meaningfully. Something sort of silly that I came up with in the spur of the moment, but it makes sense if you’re the kind to see magic practically everywhere.

I am connecting meanings to nail polish combinations, letting them take me on a flight of imagination, seeing what thoughts and feelings they bring out of me. You could say this an exercise in being a bit ‘delulu’. In the past, I did Spring, Summer, and Autumn. Now, I am doing Winter plus an honorary mention for Love.

• The 4th. Winter.
You’d assume that I’d be taken to a winter wonderland, but it did the opposite. It’s wishes that weren’t coming true, but you held on to them anyway, naively hoping they would. It’s being left out in the cold, after being promised warmth, and shivering as you desperately search for a prettier, yet believable, lie. It’s being shown that even those you think the highest of, whom you’d defend against anyone and anything, can let you down, and your feelings be damned. It’s a cobblestone pathway to walk on forever, never to stray out of, lest you step out of line. It’s the ashes of a dream that didn’t stand a chance against a harsh reality. Poor you, waiting on a star.

• The Honors. Love.
Pink, especially light pink, has never been my color. But there’s always been something about it that I cherished and eventually was compelled to protect. Fairytale princesses (and princes, if you may), striving for happy endings, in a wicked world that sought to destroy them, bringing suffering and misery instead. How dare she be kind, gentle, and loving? How dare she be pure of heart? Not recognizing that in themselves, twisted creatures called it impossible. She must be faking! Maybe she was. But also, maybe, just maybe, she simply somehow managed to remain herself. Someone who would choose care over cruelty, over and over again. Not by letting herself be used and abused, but by forever believing there had to be more to life than what’s wretched.

And that’s a wrap on these. Stay beautifully magical, lovelies, in and out!

Glad to Meet You!

I already have an incredibly amazing life. It’s been… costly. Yet, undeniably rewarding. Though some things have taken longer than I expected, others have arrived sooner than I anticipated. Mostly in the form of unbelievable connections. And that continues to blow my mind. I haven’t been able to enjoy it, due to stress and overwhelm, as much as I would have otherwise, but it is indeed beyond anything I ever dreamed of. And still, it is only the beginning...

How's that saying?
The real treasure is the friends we make along the way?
Yeah, something like that.