Regardless, as exasperating as it can be, throwing all of it into a single explanation can leave you in dissonance, for something else might be occurring, and you might need to consider this.
When someone’s words don’t match their actions, it could be that:
A. They were invested and committed, but due to unforeseen events and other complications, they failed to come through. Things aren’t as easy or simple as they look and, though responsible and adept, they now struggle to deliver as they once claimed they would. This is the most appealing explanation, as we’d rather believe the best of a person instead of acknowledging that we’ve been fooled. However, unfortunately, this is rarely the case. IRONIC scenario.
B. They got excited, didn’t quite think things through, and promised more than they could deliver. Indecisiveness and cowardice took over when reality hit, causing a change of mind and what might be endless procrastination and avoidance. They might have meant well, and wished they could have accomplished all that they initially set out to, but they were not cut out for it. This is an explanation that, while not ideal, is not totally detestable either and can be sympathized with to an extent. However, they lost all credibility. DISAPPOINTING scenario.
C. They have such a boundless mindset of abundance that they easily go through life without a real care in anything, bouncing out ideas for the feedback, gaining and losing opportunities like there will always be more, upsetting anyone whenever because they assume that they’ll eventually be forgiven and, if not, there’s always new people to meet. And so on. This is the explanation that usually fits the over-entitled who, for whatever reason and in some form, tends to get passes despite their indifference leaving a trail of damage in their path. However, this also means that they’ll miss out on strong bonds forged by mutual respect and consideration. IRRITATING scenario.
D. They take pleasure in “pranking” people, as if drawn by the sense of power and control it gives them to have others hanging in anticipation, and perhaps also for the twisted gratification they get from playing them. They may even be using it as practice to polish their tactics. It’s as though they never developed emotionally past the age of a 7-year-old spoiled brat who has yet to learn right from wrong and exercise some empathy and compassion, “torturing little animals”. Might also be trying to impress peers that are just as terrible or more, if not even acting with them. This is the explanation that evokes the most disgust, that anyone decent would have trouble wrapping their head around. However, in such a messed-up world, it is more plausible than we’d like to believe. NAUSEATING scenario.
E. It is not about pleasure, it is about business. They’re smarter than they let on and most of what they say and do is coldly calculated. It doesn’t take superpowers to treat the world and everybody in it as a chessboard and think several steps ahead. You might be a case study, or a potential threat, or both - or just relevant in some way. They’ll lie as much as they ought to in order to achieve their ends. This is the explanation that sounds the most villainous and is reserved for those who are excessively obstinate about their ambitions and will not let anything or anyone get in their way. However, if nothing more, at least their cover will be blown. TERRIFYING scenario.
(Might be some sort of mixture, too.)
If words aren’t matching actions, you should give yourself permission to not listen to any of them anymore. It is sad if what’s actually happening is scenario A. And we may cling to that possibility. Even scenario B is forgivable. But the disconnect can take a toll on you, regardless. So, if they’re someone worthy of being considered, they should be understanding that, until they get it together and have more to show than to tell, you won’t be invested.
If words aren’t matching actions, you should give yourself permission to not listen to any of them anymore. It is sad if what’s actually happening is scenario A. And we may cling to that possibility. Even scenario B is forgivable. But the disconnect can take a toll on you, regardless. So, if they’re someone worthy of being considered, they should be understanding that, until they get it together and have more to show than to tell, you won’t be invested.
