It isn’t so simple. Being guided by principles doesn’t necessarily require adopting and exercising black & white thinking that doesn’t take into account nuance nor context. Some things must be earned, things like trust and gratitude (for reciprocity). And some things can be forgiven, given that they are justified, excusable, or amended.
If you treat everybody the same, dismissing all that goes on that differentiates them, you fail to be fair. You also fail to be thoughtful, considerate, and ultimately wise. And by doing so, you discourage stellar behavior and encourage lousy behavior. You may lose the best of the best. Because why bother doing anything extra if it is not even going to be acknowledged? All the attention, the effort, and the resources that go into being your best self do not really amount to anything. You’re making it so it’d be ridiculous to be personally invested and care.
Furthermore, for your own sanity and safety, and for the sake of a functioning environment, you must have properly defined where everybody around you stands. So that you can continue to engage in dynamics, foster and maintain bonds, and reduce the chances of harm done to you and/or others. E.g. don’t give a knife to somebody who’s likely to stab you with it and don’t let somebody who’s unqualified perform surgery on you.
Compassion can kick in and make you feel sorry for one person or two. But that’s when you should ask yourself if that compassion is directed where it is merited. Awful people are frequently the loudest criers, seeking sympathy without guilt or shame, so that they don’t have to take accountability or face the consequences of their actions (or inactions). Meanwhile, those affected by them end up having to just endure them, endlessly. Ideally, everybody would be and do well, but as long as that’s not the reality, it can get harsh.
That said, what are some distinctions to make among you?
• Rulemaker
• One who Passed (Yet honored regardless)
• Veteran
• Newbie
• Significant Other
• Best Friend
• Close Friends
• Part of Your Community
• Someone who Donates Money
• Someone who Donates Another Kind of Value
• Someone who Participates in The Fight
• Spiritual Healer
• Psychological/Physiological Healer
• Disabled (temporarily or permanently)
• Children (plenty of growing up left)
• Lecturer
• Sprinkler
• Learner
• Clues & Evidence Spotter
• Under Investigation
• In a Straitjacket
• Behind Bars
• Owing Service
• Expelled
• Potential Opportunity (prone to let down or downright scam)
Etc. You get the idea.
If these could be badges/buttons, which and how many would you rightfully wear?
You may fall into one or more of these categories. Perhaps you can dominantly identify yourself with one, with some vague overlaps with others. Or you can see yourself as multifaceted and fully fit several. You may also be stepping in and out of them, depending…
Once you’ve identified where you and others belong in, be sure to ponder more about what it could imply or entail. Example 1: Veterans have done much work long before the newbies and, whether or not they are disabled, that excuses them from having to do more work in order to be recognized as priceless contributors. Example 2: It is understandable, and deserving of patience, that children aren’t yet mature enough to expect so much of them, but they are nonetheless expected to grow up. Example 3: The Clues & Evidence Spotter may be neutral and “switch sides”, as this ‘title’ and its ‘job description’ don’t inherently create ties.
In my case, the Potential Opportunity brings me mixed feelings every time it appears. I am aware that success though it is not as guaranteed as sticking to my already existing plans and the results they’ll eventually yield. However, because it shows (or pretends at) the possibility of significantly more accomplishment (faster, better, greater) than I would achieve otherwise, I feel obligated to at least check it out (if not just for me, then for those who have helped or currently help me). This has led to both incredible gains and regrettable losses. And since I’ve already had my share of the latter, I’m now forced to be more strict with it (be more transactional, less faithful; a lot of people have no decency these days). I don’t prefer it because I enjoy treating strangers with manners, and as innocent until proven guilty, but I’ll have to weave in firmer boundaries while kindly stating why they’re there.
Etc. You get the idea.
If these could be badges/buttons, which and how many would you rightfully wear?
You may fall into one or more of these categories. Perhaps you can dominantly identify yourself with one, with some vague overlaps with others. Or you can see yourself as multifaceted and fully fit several. You may also be stepping in and out of them, depending…
Once you’ve identified where you and others belong in, be sure to ponder more about what it could imply or entail. Example 1: Veterans have done much work long before the newbies and, whether or not they are disabled, that excuses them from having to do more work in order to be recognized as priceless contributors. Example 2: It is understandable, and deserving of patience, that children aren’t yet mature enough to expect so much of them, but they are nonetheless expected to grow up. Example 3: The Clues & Evidence Spotter may be neutral and “switch sides”, as this ‘title’ and its ‘job description’ don’t inherently create ties.
In my case, the Potential Opportunity brings me mixed feelings every time it appears. I am aware that success though it is not as guaranteed as sticking to my already existing plans and the results they’ll eventually yield. However, because it shows (or pretends at) the possibility of significantly more accomplishment (faster, better, greater) than I would achieve otherwise, I feel obligated to at least check it out (if not just for me, then for those who have helped or currently help me). This has led to both incredible gains and regrettable losses. And since I’ve already had my share of the latter, I’m now forced to be more strict with it (be more transactional, less faithful; a lot of people have no decency these days). I don’t prefer it because I enjoy treating strangers with manners, and as innocent until proven guilty, but I’ll have to weave in firmer boundaries while kindly stating why they’re there.
What is it like for you?
