Privacy Please

It is not about being ashamed or guilty of anything, it is not even about lacking self-esteem, it is about respecting the process. You are not meant to perform for others and welcome their input at every step and at every turn. You are entitled to privacy.

Even if somebody is completely non-judgmental and accepts you wholly, and even if they remain silent and still the whole time, you need your moments in absolute privacy. Moments in which you won’t be compelled to be aware of what is happening, in minute detail, through various angles and points of view, so that you can intuit how it is being perceived by another. You shouldn’t have to be burdened with forming an image for somebody else before you’re ready to and unless you’re willing to. That just adds more to take into account and consider. More to juggle and do. That disrupts the process. And exhausts you.

Worse when, instead, THEY ARE overly judgmental and reject many parts of you. In such a case, you’ll barely manage to deconstruct, reconstruct, and construct like you’re supposed to in order to get to the final result. It’ll all suddenly be about them and whether or not they’ll be okay with what you’re doing (or even throw a tantrum over it). And, if they got you invested in their approval, you will be shrinking and twisting yourself, likely breaking while at it, enslaved to their cheers and their boos.

Have some walls up and close some doors. It will only offend two types of people: those who are too immature to understand boundaries and those who are also too selfish to care about them. In both cases, it is not a you problem.

Easier said than done. And in certain situations, not even an option. But if you can claim it, then do without remorse. Stating that you require privacy to focus, regardless of whether it means you’re too inhibited or not, should suffice. You may learn, through inevitability, to concentrate in spite of it, but it is still making it harder and more difficult for you. If they are reasonable and considerate, that argument should be enough. If they are not, how valid is their opinion on the matter?

Are you giving a show or are you only practicing and/or building something? You may choose to make your practice and/or your building a public display, but you shouldn’t be obligated to when that’s not what you’re going for.

If you do have inhibitions keeping you from achieving a greater success, making you too reclusive rather than merely reserved at certain points and in certain areas, that’s something to work on by addressing your fears and vulnerabilities when being exposed. But if you just want some darn privacy, then why should it be a debate at all?