Being mysterious and enigmatic is okay, but if you’re aiming to communicate the best you can…
First and foremost comes clarity. How clear is your message? Are you allowing yourself to “state the obvious” for the sake of clarity or are you more concerned with coming across as “interesting”?
As with most things, there’s a place and time for either. And in the case of communicating clearly, there are a few measures to take and sacrifices to make. Besides looking for all the ways in which you can be clear, there is being honest, then there’s also switching points of view.
Honesty plays a big role in how your communication goes, as lies often require mental gymnastics. Things don’t add up, it doesn’t make much sense, or something just doesn’t quite sit right. And this can throw people off. So not only should you be honest with others, you should also be honest with yourself. When you’re honest with yourself, words and sentences come on their own to you (might still have to look up some and reorganize them a little, though). Unless you’re a compulsive liar whose talent is to fabricate fiction on the go, or whimsical fiction is actually your goal, doing some digging and reflection to find the message you will communicate is important in your pursuit of clarity.
For clarity, there are a few things that you can do:
- Determine who, specifically, your message is for and make it evident.
- Check for the different potential interpretations your message could have and reduce the number.
- Add concrete examples or anecdotes.
- Use disclaimers for what you do not intend to mean.
- Have a lengthier, expanded version, of what you’re conveying available to access and invite others to it.
Furthermore, because of triggers and other sorts of defensiveness, practice putting yourself in others’ shoes, seeing from their point of view. How do you think your message will be received? What associations would be more automatically and immediately evoked? Which connotations and/or meanings do your words have for them? Should you perhaps “decompress” a message so that it is welcome?
Sometimes it helps to announce and reassure your intentions beforehand. And if there are any limits or shortcomings to be expected, announce those too so that they will be taken into account instead of producing misunderstandings.
Lastly, you must find what works for you. How you best communicate that is true to yourself and that energizes you rather than drain you. Any activity can eventually be draining, but if one does so outstandingly, it may be a sign that you’re going out of your way too much and must have a more natural approach.
