May Continues to be OFF…

Still out. But I figure I owe more information about it, to those few who are closely keeping up with me and my stuff, and now that I’m more able to form words, here they come!

• I wanted to see Michael this month, but I’ll have to move that.
• I wanted to finish adding about Wonka this month, but I’ll also have to move that.
• I wanted to keep regularly posting on Sundays, but I’ll indeed also have to move that.

I require this break. Not merely being mute or reducing interactions, but being as disconnected as I can be to return to myself and replenish myself as I ought to. I was fortunate to miraculously have something I could ‘fall back’ on that’d make this not only easier, but much more effective. However, it is still looking like I’ll be needing plenty of time. I want to say all of May, and not extend it beyond, but we’ll see.

Do I feel guilty about it? Losing the streak and whatnot. Sometimes, yes. But I did say it. That this year and many months before it have been rough. That if that one thing happened, I would have to retreat for a possibly long while - and it happened. So now I’m retreating. It is not punishment and it is not manipulation. It is simply what my psyche and the mass around it now demand.

And I’m not going to lie, it has been tempting to hate everyone and everything all of a sudden. As though part of the natural reaction that leads to pulling away and avoiding further harm. But worry not, if you deserve better, I’ll make the due distinctions as I regain my clarity. Meanwhile, I ask that you be understanding of my withdrawal of energy and such.

This means that, no, I’m not really checking messages. Not most of them, anyway. If they won’t sit there long enough, then I’ll forever miss them. I will check them once I have space to hold them again. I’m only keeping in touch with a few people during this period. I occasionally get curious and check on more, but I shouldn’t if I am to make progress with this recovery. Please don’t take it personally, especially if you KNOW I love and adore you. Just gotta do what I gotta do to get through this.

I repeat: Take care and be well!
(Besides, I believe y’all could use some time together without me being in the way!)