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Sunday, March 26, 2023

New Cycle, New Me (Kinda)

I've been intending to have a photo session for selfies, complete with a backdrop and a wardrobe to match my branding for the year, and it's something I wanted to do first thing before posting other pictures. But... I ended up trying out the black & white grainy filter and got a few shots I liked.

For spring, to start all over again, I cut my hair (DRAMATIC!). It is still a mess (I didn't even brush it for these shots) but got rid of much of the damage and promised myself to take better care of it this year (though not obsessively so because I'm too lazy for that and it's just hair). Yet, do you know what's a good indicator of when my health is dropping? When my hair starts thinning, turning white, and falling out increasingly faster. I've got all the needless stressors to blame for that and myself for allowing them in my life. 

If all you bring me is stress and no proportionate compensation for it, BYE! I'm indifferent to any excuses, complaints, and accusations at this point when that is the case. Seriously, makes absolutely no sense to put up with that - especially when you know that more exists that isn't like that.

I find it sort of amusing that even though I'm relatively careless (or have been) when it comes to physical appearance, I make a big deal out of this. I had a moment of facing myself when, last year, I could relate to a fictional character but shied back when she threw a fit for losing her beautiful hair. That could not be me! I'm not that superficial! Welp. That pretty much is me regardless. Partly because of what it implies. The last time I had to cut my hair due to being stressed to death, I had grown it long and voluminous while living contently away from all that harmed me. So when it begins happening again, it's uh-oh or heck-no for me.

On to the new cycle, I'm on a higher level of self-care. Tolerating less, and tending to myself more.