Back To School Month

September is here!
It’s Back To School time.
You can expect an emphasis on education-related content.

Autumn Once More

Autumn arrives once more...
Do you know what that means?
It means we go further.
Look more closely, reach depper.
And maybe face what's been avoided.

A Day At The Beach

♪ Y aunque parezcas despistado, con ese caminar pausado,
conozco la razón que hace doler tu corazón… ♪

I was finally able to take time for myself, away from the screen. I accidentally got sunburnt, but at least I got there. So I could make this compilation of my surroundings at the beach. Surprisingly, I did end up moving quite close to it and, for that, I rejoice!

PS: The song coming to mind for this occasion, though I can personally relate as well, reminds me of all the devoted healers out there, putting in the work to mend the wounds of the innocent and/or the unfairly treated. 😌

When You're Being Watched

Nothing like being watched to bring back your inhibitions. Suddenly, things you forgot or weren’t even aware you were insecure about are making you self-conscious. It makes you nervous, cripplingly so, and embarrassed, to further your detriment.

A lot of the time, however, we are being too harsh on ourselves, too nitpicky. Maybe because we know that others will be so. But even if they are, should it matter that much? Isn’t that a THEM issue rather than a YOU issue? And if that’s the case, maybe you could use more self-acceptance, coming to terms with the things you don’t like so much about yourself or even learn to appreciate them if they can be.

Confidence, not arrogance, can go a long way in immunizing you to unkind stares. Remembering that you’re the whole package and, unless there’s something seriously wrong about you, to be truly concerned about, you’re not some sort of freak of nature that’s failing so badly at being within what’s normal or, if actually odd or outstanding, failing at what can be considered worthwhile. Therefore, any cruel judgments are unmerited.

Nevertheless, we may want to put our best forth. If not for those who love us, then at least to not give the satisfaction to those who hate us of seeing us at our worst. If that’s the case, preparation and improvements could be due.

We could also benefit from tuning out. If you can trust that you will operate according to your standards, being attuned to what others might be perceiving and interpreting would be needless and counterproductive, holding you back from flowing smoothly.

Furthermore, have solid arguments in your defense. For any incoming attacks aimed at any vulnerability, or what might look like such, so you can’t be hit and thrown off. You don’t necessarily have to debate it, you don’t have to explain yourself either, but you should definitely have them for yourself so that you can remain unbothered.

Another trick is to return the humiliation. However, that’s not a very ‘zen’ thing to do. It is effective, though. If anyone’s giving you nasty stares over something of yours, give them some back over something of theirs.

Ideally, you’d have enough privacy to not have your guard up all the time, but when you’re being watched, at least this much can make it manageable.

Message In a Bottle

What if you wanted or needed to sneak in an extra message? Something that’d get the attention from only a few. Normally, it’s what we do when we whisper, gesture, or make expressions towards those who can see and hear us, leaving out the rest from the little secret.

It’s nothing new. Is it kind of rude? Yes, when you’re not in it. But then again, there are way worse things in life. And when it comes to art, multiple messages, some less obvious than others, are to be expected. The question is then: Are you paying close attention?

If you’re invested enough to be able to tell when something is off or might have an added meaning, you’re already past the door and into the circle of people who ‘get it’. Are you welcome there or not, however? That still depends. 

Let’s say you’re making art and you’d like to add hidden messages for a minority. A specific target audience, your most invested participants, and such. There are a few ways to go about it. And you can choose the ones that suit your style and/or fit the level of discretion that you’re aiming for.

- Put it in something you don’t regularly do. An extra piece that isn’t quite like the others.

- Put it in your regular pieces, but subtly highlight it by consistently adding a mark that signals that it should be read further into.

- “Casually” add background music with lyrics that speak for you.

- “Casually” add background signs that point towards or literally say it.

- Have a separate collection or via through which your work, though it may seem normal, always carries hidden messages.

Then it is a matter of giving them the time to recognize these quirks, along with your particular patterns. You can think of more ways, of course, there are plenty, but these are some of the least messy, yet still “hidden in plain sight”, sort. And you can continue to go about your day job as if you haven’t been doing anything extra and sneaky.

Later on, whether you will admit to any of this more explicitly, it is for you to decide. You shouldn’t be messing with people’s heads and hearts, causing psychological harm or worse. But if it’s all just been without ill intent or even for valid reasons, and you’ve kept yourself in check (beware of using symbols or “symbols” that should be respected and/or avoided, etc.), you can have a clear conscience.

Virgo's Season

♍ VIRGO

As we enter the season of Virgo, it is believed that the universe will be affecting us with energies that will cause us to examine our lives and focus on improvement. We will be more in tune with our analytical minds, and abilities to solve and perfect will be enhanced. If you are receptive to them, you might be imbued with clarity and precision. If you are resistant to them, you might be conflicted with overthinking and self-criticism. If you are completely blocked out, you might not notice them at all. And if you don't pay enough attention, you might miss opportunities to refine your goals.

Motivational Quote: "Small steps make the biggest difference."

For context and more of relevance, please read about The Zodiac.

The Glow Up

You are beautiful when you glow. When you don’t too, but this is a different kind.

The term glow up is often casually used to refer to surface levels of improvements, making your appearance more appealing, typically based on the current or surrounding beauty standards. And while that’s fine, there can also be a lot more to it. You could be glowing from the inside out.

When this is the case, it’s not only a physical beauty, but a spiritual one as well. You feel good inside, you’re centered and balanced, and you are at peace and ease. And that comes through. May even be somewhat contagious, helping induce a similar state in others when they’re in proximity. Call it pleasant vibes or aura.  

It is thorough work, though. Suppressing, denying and ignoring won’t do. If there is something bothering you, it must be addressed. Exposed and acknowledged. Maybe you can’t fix everything fully, but at least enough to outshine any foul moods and states that these issues may be causing in you.

You must tend to your body, yes, but also to your mind, to your heart, and to your spirit. Tend to the physiological but also to the psychological. And that might be your biggest flex - to be so thoroughly taken care of that there is nothing to envy in others or resent them for. You are feeling great about yourself and what else is there to worry about when you’re in optimal shape?

Unfortunately, though, some of the worst people you’ll meet will be drawn to you when you’re at your best. And if you’re not careful, if you don’t fiercely protect yourself, your energy and your whole being, along with your lifestyle, they could drain and destroy you to the point where you’ll become unrecognizable. These are people who feed off you and/or who just despise that you vibrate so high and have so much of what they lack. Some of them may not even seem like it, they may look like they have it even better than you. But if they operate with malice and disregard for your wellbeing, chances are that they do not.

You may be accused of being “stuck up” because you are confident and secure in yourself, enough to not get too close or invested in what damages you, and likely many others who also cared genuinely about you, so arduously worked towards. Let them and keep your head high.

Retrieving Your Spark

You let yourself go and you wish to get back to yourself? That can be done. It might not be an overnight job, but you’ll get there after taking the required steps.

If, for whatever reason(s), you find yourself somewhere you’d rather not be, grab a pen and a notebook (tangible, to give yourself off-screen and grounding time, and/or virtual, as the convenience of the extra features available can go a long way) and start taking notes. It’ll help you identify, outline, and break apart what is happening and what has to be done to remedy it.

It may be that you’re disconnected from yourself, from what really makes you come alive, what fulfills you and takes you closer to your self-actualization. And it may be that you’ve overlooked the importance of tending to the little, yet essential, self-care tasks that keep you in shape, running smoothly and safely, which eventually hinders all. Maybe you pushed yourself too far, too.

You can take your notes however it is best for you. But one approach to it would be the following:

- Note everything that is currently wrong or off.

- Note what of that is within your reach to fix.

- Note what is messing them up and what could sort them out.

- Note your priorities, which issues you will tackle first and which afterwards.

- Note your timeframe (though remind yourself that you can be flexible) for having them settled.

Depending on how much there is to work on, it could be anything from a week to years. However, don’t let that discourage you. The mere act of getting yourself on track to make progress is already rewarding. Wouldn’t choose to just give up on yourself, would you?

Some of us had it especially tough because we had to undo years and years of harmful treatment and conditioning, breaking cycles and habits, examining beliefs. And we would have to get to know ourselves because we didn’t get a chance to before (or are called to do so more thoroughly). In order to have a shot at becoming and being our own glowing selves. Hence, retrieving your spark might not be so readily on sight and instead get tricky, to say the least. However, once you learn and know how to bring it about, it gets easier to do for other instances in which you later lose it. Then you might, as well, be able to steadily maintain it.

The Glow Down

It is true, it shows on the outside what is going on in the inside. If you’re in circumstances, situations, or relationships that are more stressful than they are relieving, it will be reflected. Not only psychologically, but also physically.

Your skin might dry out, you might get acne, your hair could fall out, or it may thin and gray, you could start putting on weight, inflammation here and there, along with dark circles around your eyes, or even a pale “dead” look. Along all that, you might not even find it in yourself to take as much care of yourself as you otherwise would.

And while many of these consequences are reversible, they can still take a lot to get rid of once they’ve begun. What’s worse, though, is that some can be permanent. You can literally age faster when put under severe stress. And that’s without touching the very real damage that it can cause to your brain.

So you may call it vanity or what you will, but this is part of why hanging and sticking around people and places that strain you isn’t recommendable. You don’t get a badge of honor for enduring detrimental treatment or labor. What you get is your suffering reflected on you.

Sure, we can’t always be chasing absolute bliss, pushing away and shutting out everything and everyone who isn’t that for us. But we can seek to reduce and counter those moments that take a toll on us. Setting clear boundaries and making room for nourishing activities, having no reluctance to ignore and dismiss any guilt-tripping that could come our way about it.

Some people are martyrs and expect you to be too. And some people are abusers and expect you to allow abuse. Neither should have a say on what you do and don’t do with your life. It is the people who yearn to see you doing well, and who even help you move toward this, whose opinions matter.

We don’t always realize when we’re pushing beyond what we can properly handle, probably being caught up in the frenzy of tending to whatever it is that’s consuming us. So when these things start to happen, when you’re glowing down, they can be taken as symptoms to realize that a change is required.

Leeches but Also...

You would (mistakenly) think that, with all these leeches that show up wherever there is abundance or abundance in the making, it is all that is out there. But it is not.

There are also those who come to be a part of it and give their best, who honor and support it within their abilities, to make it even grander. As though devoted to building something greater than themselves alone.

They bring encouragement, guidance, insight, relief, and even protection. BESIDES fulfilling their own roles. And so much MORE.

Didn't Sign Up for That (Extortion & Exploitation)

You’ll be baffled by the type of things people would do to you. If you have a pure heart and good intentions toward others, you will often be shocked. And even as someone who’s barely semi-decent with others, you’re in for many (unpleasant) surprises.

We tend to assume, even while trying to be conscious and aware, that others are as considerate, or at least as logical, as we are. So when they hit us with an unexpected twist of events, something that broke the script you had assigned for how something was supposed to go, and even goes outside any other plausible possibilities, you might be left speechless. People can be indifferent, harsh, and cruel beyond anything we’ve already envisioned.

Maybe they’re in a complicated situation, maybe they had a rough day, maybe it’s just what they know so far, but, deep down, they’re still good or wish to be good. Yet, maybe not. At times, people are simply concerned with only themselves. It’s this type of people that make firm boundaries and strict rules a requirement in life. Law enforcement, even. They would not find it in themselves to genuinely be kind to others. They would only perform as such under the pressure of severe punishment or the allure of grand reward.

Someone who wants to take advantage of you isn’t so easily recognized. More likely than not, they have been doing this for much of their lives and have experience with what does and doesn’t work on and around others. So give yourself grace if you can’t immediately tell who’s who.

Nevertheless, you must inform and educate yourself on what constitutes as fair. Refine your understanding of it. Distinguish what you are really obligated to do and what you are due for in a given situation, so that nobody can shame or guilt you into complying with their twisted arrangements. Putting you in a spot where you lose and they win - disproportionately.

It starts with honoring yourself, your needs, your wants, and your limits. Getting it through your whole being that you matter, too. That you were not put in this world to please the worst types of people that exist here. That something doesn’t cease to be right and correct merely because those who are inconvenienced by it would disagree. And that you are (and should be) allowed to be a “nuisance” if it means standing up for yourself.

There may be plenty to factor in and ponder, so arriving at the proper answer(s) within the given circumstances can be difficult, but it is something that cannot be left to people you cannot trust, who do not have your best interests at heart. Ideally, you’d have someone with integrity and expertise to help you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get involved in the subject and grasp it to an extent as well.

Sometimes it's Yours to Snatch, Sometimes it's Not

Lots of things in this world that people aren't really entitled to but believe they are. Then they wanna force it rather than earn it.

Too Much Blah, Blah, Blah (Too Little Action)

Indeed, actions speak louder than words. And it is as if it is precisely because of this very same fact that such a large number of words are often used in an attempt to compensate and cover up for the lack of actually doing what is supposed to be done.

Having long conversations, expressing your thoughts and feelings, getting deep into topics and thoroughly discussing them, all of that is great. What is not great is making promises you don’t intend to keep or continually putting off and going in circles to examine irrelevant details when you should have already arrived at a proper solution or conclusion. This is maddening to anybody who honors their time and wishes to make progress.

If you cannot shut your mouth when you do not have something productive to say, you’ll soon lose the attention of the kind of people who are responsible and committed. Or, at the very least, lose their respect, whether they tell you or not.

In an era where most crave attention and lack discipline, talking and talking, without necessarily getting anywhere, seems to be the answer. It is becoming more and more commonplace. Not just a matter of being outgoing vs. being reserved. And it can get outrageous with the tactics employed to keep you engaged.

It is very probable that you will encounter and be in proximity to people like this. Maybe it won’t bother you as much or maybe it will. It may seem harmless, be flattering even, but it can ultimately test your patience to no end - especially when you’ve already stated that you’d rather get moving. You might find yourself asking, begging, demanding, or even shouting and crying in desperation while being repeatedly disregarded with lame excuses or more empty promises. It is humiliating. You’d feel foolish and played.

So do you turn into them, too? Please, no. Instead, set the example or simply exist as one of the few who can still be counted on. Attention isn’t so difficult to get that you’d have to turn to future-faking, stalling, or even love-bombing. Have and show substance. Speak when your actions already reflect what you’re saying. And if entertaining and bouncing ideas is all you’d like to do, then present that as such, not as a reality.

Leo's Season

♌ LEO

As we enter the season of Leo, it is believed that the universe will be affecting us with energies that will cause us to embrace creativity and radiate confidence. We will be more in tune with our self-expression, and abilities to lead and inspire will be enhanced. If you are receptive to them, you might be imbued with enthusiasm and charisma. If you are resistant to them, you might be conflicted with pride and a need for validation. If you are completely blocked out, you might not notice them at all. And if you don't pay enough attention, you might miss opportunities to shine and inspire others.

Motivational Quote: "Let your light shine brightly."

For context and more of relevance, please read about The Zodiac.

Ballerina (2025)

I’ve seen John Wick, I had to see Ballerina. Not only that. Watch and rewatch all the movies that came before it, but in the proper storyline order. My only regret is that my week wasn’t freer for it (I was in between trips, meetings, and parties). But maybe next time there is a remarkable marathon to be had, I’ll be fully prepared to fully devote to it.

  SPOILER ALERT!   Keep reading at your own risk. There are spoilers ahead... 

Evanescence's Fight Like A Girl

I was so pleasantly surprised by this coming together. Both Evanescence and the John Wick’s franchise have especially stood out to me in terms of being empowering. So, of course, I was immediately drawn back in. Thrilled to see what else it brings.

I’ll never get tired of this type of ambiance and the vibes that come with it. The grungy, graffiti-covered, dimly and neon-lit night streets, with reflective ponds during or after the rain. That ‘underground’ state that is hardcore and badass, where black clothing and combat boots are not missing. I absolutely love it.

The concept of fighting like a girl is interesting to me. It could be quickly dismissed as an appeal to the female audience, but I’d argue that there is more to it. As a millennial who has experienced and witnessed much of what the fight for women’s liberation has been like, I can attest that it comes with countless traps and obstacles to move through and beyond - specific to the gender. So when I hear “fight like a girl”, not only do I hear a typical/former insult being subverted, but also a statement on the persistence and tenacity that it takes to go against all the odds that are stacked against you. It is interesting also because of how it is simultaneously gendered (“like a girl”) and genderless (spoken to any gender).

Furthermore, as someone who has had to deal, over and over, with the pleas of some of the worst scum that you can encounter, I appreciate what the lyrics of the song revolve around. Maybe it wasn’t your reality, but some of us (mostly females) have had the “Just forgive them!” and “Don’t be so cruel!” forced on us at our expense, as if we’re supposed to forever mommy everyone, with the utmost tenderness, even when it is not really our job (never mind fair compensation) and the person in question is refusing to mature and long due for it. “Tonight, you’re the victim of your own crime.” This line, for example, hits hard and speaks volumes if you ponder it further.

Personally, I am profoundly delighted by how Evanescence, with Amy Lee, continues to be active in the scene. Their work is timeless and undeniable. Sneaking in and breaking the mold from the beginning. And still nowadays. 

Participating Without Wearing Out

One of the nicest things that can happen to you is to be so taken into account that others notice when you’re tired, take the load off, and tell you to rest. However, in most cases, that is not what is going to happen. These days, we all barely have any room to pay close attention to anything that doesn’t seem particularly urgent to us and is not formally allocated to us.

And it’s messed up; we should have lifestyles that allow us to care for one another and not just for ourselves. But, instead, we’re too busy surviving or racing each other.

Therefore, as much and as often as you can, keep a watch on your battery. See when it is running low and take your time to recharge it. Situations that do not let you rest when you require it to perform are not situations you should aspire to be and remain in.

Different people get, more or less, exhausted by different things. There are levels to them. Usually, when something is not within your realm of talent, or does not spark the inspiration and motivation to energize you, engaging in it can be especially tiring. 

At worst, it’s as if you’re working against yourself for it. At best, it’s something you’re not yet proficient in and pushing through until you are can be a burdensome struggle. Whatever the case, recharging your battery and having energy is a must. And you can get around it.

• Task Management

Break down and pace intimidating and overwhelming tasks. Learn what is stimulating to you, when and where, and what is tedious to you. See in which order they must be arranged to be able to get through enough.

• Delegation

Even if you’re the best at it or if it has become your responsibility, try to delegate. Look for competent and capable people who are willing to lend you a hand and trust that they’ll do their job properly. Furthermore, avoid meddling and overextending yourself to tend to what is someone else’s problem when they’re already handling it well.

• Give Up Control

You cannot predict nor determine every outcome. There’s much that you must let be, whatever it’ll be. Prepare for different ways in which it could go and adjust sails when that’s the course. Strict stiffness will only cause you suffocation and stress. All you can do is contribute to the preferred or ideal outcome to an extent that is reasonable.

• Taking Breaks & Tuning out

From taking several short breaks to taking a few long ones, you oughta do what you oughta do to keep going. Some tasks can be unbearable, some are almost as though they have a forcefield that repels you. If you cannot leave them, figure out how to withstand them by not being too continually invested.

• Reduce Other Energy Zappers

Is it too noisy? Too messy? Too redundant? Too inefficient? And it doesn’t even have to be? Get rid of that! Put systems in place that flow with more ease in your favor. This includes getting long-winged or unclear instructions and explanations when it could instead be concisely and precisely summarized for you. Dig into the details only when it concerns you.

How well are you doing these? And what else would you add to ensure that you won't run low?

Watch Out for what your Abundance Pulls

It's nice to be and have a lot. But it does come with consequences. Beyond how much you had to work for it, how fortunate you got, or how blessed you were, there’s something else that comes into play: Those who want what you have.

You can be abundant in different aspects and departments. It isn’t solely about money, though money reigns and dominates to the point that it is the most we associate with the term wealth. However, anything that is of some value counts.

And where there’s value to be had, people can go from vaguely resentful to stopping at nothing until they have taken it all away from you. Needless to say, this is why we must have some degree of skepticism, as much as that can hinder our interactions with others, because not everyone is considerate or even respectful. Quite the contrary, boundless selfishness seems to be on the rise.

 

Depending on the type of wealth that you possess, a variety of people will be drawn to you. Essentially, though, just as opposites attract, it often is so that you can make up for their lack - or for the excessive greed that leads them to keep craving more and more, regardless, as if in lack.

Being a complement to another, sharing and exchanging with each other, and having a symbiotic relationship is fine. Being generous when you can afford to, whether or not you get anything in return, can also be fine. But letting yourself be used and taken advantage of, to your detriment, is not.

So, among all else, and besides pupils for tutoring, what is your abundance pulling?
- If you are rich; no surprise, people who want funding, tips, donations, loans (or “loans”), to be treated to expensive luxury…
- If you are popular; people who want status, inclusion, recognition, applause, followers, others wishing to be like them…
- If you are good-looking; people who want pleasure, attention, eye and arm candy, to indulge in a fantasy…
- If you are smart; people who want answers, solutions, shortcuts, their homework done for them…
- If you are funny; people who want relief, entertainment, not to have to take things so seriously…
- If you are kind; people who want comfort, patience, understanding, care, doing the minimum without being reprimanded…
Etc. Etc. Etc.

This should give you an idea of what else comes with the sort of abundance that you carry. Then it is a matter of figuring out if it is a fair or even desirable trade when somebody is there for it.

Thorough Self-Improvement

Avoid at all costs to some, a way of life to others. It can indeed be intimidating, as if it is an enormous challenge that you cannot even begin to comprehend, let alone tackle and overcome. Some things could be standing in your way and/or holding you back from it.

But for those who are so familiar and accustomed to it, it is endlessly rewarding and fulfilling to engage in. It can seem like an unstoppable addiction. Not knowing yourself, not learning how to improve yourself, not taking the steps toward self-actualization… How can anyone live like that?

And then there are those who not only push themselves, but also pull and lift others with them too. People who strive to be, have, and give for the better. Often, they put an enormous amount of time, energy, and other resources into helping others get out of a tough spot and go further toward a plentiful life. (Ironic and irritating how, regardless, leeches appear and completely disregard all their work to set back and even sabotage those they were so invested in.)

That said, this lifestyle isn’t for the weak. It requires a strong spirit, a strong mind, a strong heart, and a strong body. You may not start this way, of course, but will be forced to develop as such in order to meet the many challenges within the main challenge of thoroughly improving yourself.

If making up excuses, constantly complaining, escaping from responsibilities, and always taking the easier route is your thing, you’re far from the mindset that must be adopted. You need will, optimism, commitment, and defiance. Curiosity is also important to have, so that you can continue to inspect and reveal what may be lacking, along with searching for and pondering solutions.

Many people make the mistake of fueling their drive to improve through humiliation. And while this can indeed be effective, as it can be so painful as to have you giving your all not to get there, it can come with a restlessness that isn’t advisable and could ultimately backfire. Losing sleep, having meltdowns, being actively tortured by unpleasant thoughts and feelings. That would keep you from successfully addressing blind spots and more.

Alternatively, if you see yourself as an ongoing project that you can contribute to every day, you’ll get a steady sense of progress that yields lasting results in more than just a handful of areas. You might be more wary of what gets in the way of that as well. It doesn’t mean you won’t be infuriated from time to time, but it does mean that, for the most part, it’ll be under your control - and you can be flexible enough to have ups and downs, steps forward and steps back, acknowledging the non-linearity of it.

Your circle could change. If there are people around you who do not wish to see you rise, they will resent you and possibly try to bring you down and back with them. But even if others don’t follow your pace or reach your level, they ought to, at the very least, be okay with your advancement. Ideally, though, you would surround yourself with people who inspire, motivate, encourage, and support you instead.

Then it is just a matter of keeping it up. Next thing you know, you are less burdened and more capable than you’ve ever been. 

Unfaltering Self-Acceptance

“Love yourself.” Yes, but there’s more to it. How do you go about it? Are you supposed to ignore and excuse all your faults and shortcomings or should you be interpreting this differently?

Turns out, it is hard and difficult to “love yourself” when there are things about you that you legitimately do not like and will not sincerely like no matter how much you attempt to. And that’s okay, because some of our traits do not define us. They are there temporarily and maybe they are merely situational. Something you’re meant to shed at some point. And doing so would reveal more of who you truly are or even take you closer to the best version of you.

So self-acceptance, in this case, isn’t about staying where you are exactly as you are. It is about facing yourself, coming to terms with what is in front of you right at this moment, and allowing it to exist without denial unless or until you can move past it.

When you take yourself as you are, you accept that you have a history; a past that led you to this present and a future that you have a hand in shaping. How strict or indulgent you are from there is up to you. Yet, there is quite a wide range that remains within what is reasonable and what you can fully, without any lies or delusions, embrace.

You would have to take into account your limits. How far can you go without it being of any harm or risk to yourself? Furthermore, how far can you go while still being authentically you, in touch with and connected to your core and the essence of who you are, rather than putting it on hold to fabricate a different persona? You would also have to take into account your taste. What do you genuinely prefer? What is a reflection of your own style? What are your vibes? How do you let your unique Self shine through?

Being regretful, filled with shame and guilt, about choices that you’ve made is to be expected. You will have to work through those too. Remember that it all went down as it went because that’s what it all came to. But does it have to be repeated or can (and will) you choose differently next time?

And speaking of being the total of the sum of everything... Comparisons with others are useless and bound to be counterproductive unless they’re for reference and inspiration to further achieve what suits you, not for basing your personal worth on. Getting discouraged and looking down on yourself isn’t going to help you.

Take it in chunks or in bits. See what you are keeping and what you are getting rid of. Where you currently are isn’t as important as where you’re heading. Once you set yourself on that frame, you’ll have little to no trouble handling imperfections and “imperfections”.

Cancer's Season

♋ CANCER

As we enter the season of Cancer, it is believed that the universe will be affecting us with energies that will cause us to reflect deeply and nurture ties. We will be more in tune with our emotions, and abilities to care and empathize will be enhanced. If you are receptive to them, you might be imbued with warmth and sheltering. If you are resistant to them, you might be conflicted with moodiness and emotional overwhelm. If you are completely blocked out, you might not notice them at all. And if you don't pay enough attention, you might miss opportunities for healing and closeness.

Motivational Quote: "Home is where the heart is."

For context and more of relevance, please read about The Zodiac.

Who's at Your Lowest & Who's at Your Highest?

Be careful who you assume is there for you. It is not always so obvious. And even what is ‘evident’ could be deceiving.

There’s a common misconception that who’s there at your lowest is a real, ride-or-die friend. And there’s another common misconception that who’s there at your highest is a false, fair-weather friend. And while it is often the case, it isn’t so simple and you might be in for quite the unpleasant surprise.

The friend you should be looking for, or appreciating if you’ve already found them, is the sort that accompanies you at your lowest and celebrates you at your highest. Someone who is there for you in the ups and downs. Not necessarily all through it, or too closely tagging along, but one who allows you either and lends a hand whenever possible. With genuine solidarity, whether or not they expect reciprocity.

It is not so unusual that a person is only capable of being either at one or the other. Someone who is there at your lowest, looking like your tight buddy, only to resent you and even sabotage you if you ever dare to reach and be higher. Likewise, someone who is there at your highest, looking like your hype squad, only to abandon and even deny you when things don’t go in your favor anymore.

People who want you to remain at your lowest do benefit from you being there. You might believe that you are no more than a burden under those circumstances, but that, too, works for them. For starters, you are not a threat to them. They won’t see you as competition. They are superior when they are next to you. They get to be seen as noble and charitable. And if they do help you, then you’ll owe them. Some of them specifically target those who tend to be extra grateful, knowing that what little they do will be multiplied and given back tenfold.

Alternatively, people who want you to remain at your highest benefit more visibly. And unlike the former, they don’t have to put a lot of effort into pretending to be a helper, given that you don’t need so much help. They can just shower you with flattery and applause. Do one or two things here and there to suggest that there’s more substance to them. Lie and promise that there is and will be more to it if suspected or questioned. All the while, basking in all that the proximity to your success grants them. Feigning joy for you and your well-being is easy when they’re genuinely joyful for themselves and the well-being you bring them.

Fabricating scenarios to test others isn’t okay, but you should definitely, when given the chance, pay attention to who is or isn’t there when low or high - and why. Maybe your seemingly ride-or-die friend prefers you in misery. And maybe the seemingly fair-weather friend wished they could be with you at your lowest but legitimately couldn’t (or shouldn’t).

The Vulnerability of Being Exposed

Inhibitions, inhibitions, inhibitions. They’re there for a reason - or several. Should they be kept? Or should they be let go of? That’s something to look closely into.

In a way, they guard us. Behind an inhibition is likely an area that has, in some form, been wounded before. Or perhaps, simply an area that, upon witnessing attacks to the same or similar, we assume (possibly correctly so) they’re at risk as well. More generally, it could be that we know, sense, or worry we’re around or surrendered by the kind of people who would not be so gentle with us. Maybe we grew up in an environment that made it the norm, so it is now a pervasive fear that we can hardly shut off.

There are instances in which it is completely rational to be inhibited and instances in which it is not. If we are vulnerable to being wounded, that’s enough reason to have our guards up. At least for as long as we’re thin-skinned rather than thick-skinned about a matter.

They say that callouses and scar tissue are stronger than regular skin, and there’s truth to that. However, there’s only so much that you can take without willingly becoming a human sacrifice to entertain the vices of others. So if you wish to be reserved, then be. And if you can handle being exposed, not losing much by it or even gaining in return for it, then that’s your choice to make too.

Nevertheless, it is important to know that, oftentimes, what makes us vulnerable and prone to being wounded is no more than our own beliefs and attitudes in regards to something. How you look at it. Would you be agreeing with negative and destructive feelings and thoughts or would you be disagreeing, and dismissive of them? When somebody harshly criticizes you, do you give their views and opinions weight or are they irrelevant or even mistaken as far as you're concerned? Are you accepting enough of yourself that you would instead see them as too narrow-minded and judgmental?

Regardless, it can sting, and it can indeed get under your skin (especially when done repeatedly). When that happens, you may have to go through it and draw out the poison before it spreads and is further internalized. Being patient, caring, and sincere with yourself can be your remedy. Treat it with the tenderness that the other person failed to.

"IYKYK"

Are you in or are you out? The inside jokes, the references, and the (quite unbelievable) lore that makes it possible, with its origins back in who-knows-when. If you know, you know. And if you don’t, do you REALLY want to know? Once you go down the rabbit hole, you might never be the same. It’s all fun and games until it’s not. Not for the faint of heart. Maddening, to say the least. More than a hobby, an obsession.

New Module: Egg Hunt

Last but not least, another new module has been incorporated! It’s been long overdue, but it’s finally here. I know it, you know it, we know it, they know it. Whether it’s easter or not, artists love easter eggs. Both hiding and hunting for them is certainly a thing.

So here it is! On the right side column, just between the special dates and the psyche.

They Show Up Like They're The Best

But they aren’t.

As if absolutely desperate, restlessly so, for your attention, there are people who will jump through hoops, pull insane gymnastics, and attempt to defy the rules of physics to get what they want from you. They could have asked politely, discussed a fair deal, come to an arrangement, and commit to it or back out (and try again elsewhere). But it’s as if they’ve somehow learned that, by constantly scamming and/or actively spamming others, they get their way - and that’s all that matters to them.

These are the type of people who will emulate the most outstanding and desirable traits and qualities that can be found in a person. So much that, because they are eventually found out, these turn into "red flags" to watch out for. The “too good to be true” kind. So not only do they mess with those that they target, they also ruin it for the few that are genuine and come with substance.

Consideration for your wants, your needs, or even your limits is nearly or even completely nonexistent unless it is stitching, patching, and holding up the illusion while they would still bother with it. And that’s usually what ultimately gives them away.

But how to filter them out sooner rather than later? How to figure them out early enough? They change and evolve so, if we’re trying to be precise and accurate rather than overly dismissive (or permissive), we gotta be on the lookout for how they move - whether directly, by observing and probing them, or indirectly, by studying known patterns that are likely to come up. 

If you have trouble wrapping your head around what they do, though, chances are that they're so unrelatable to you that you cannot easily make sense of them. And, albeit a pitfall, that's good news.

New Module: Beware

Yet another new module has been incorporated! It’s the heavy stuff. But oh-so-relevant nonetheless. Matters related to scamming and spamming are sprayed and scattered around on different types of content throughout the site (and will continue to be), but some issues must be addressed intensely in one place. ‘Cause no, you won’t be safe even while staying on your lane. And these can be major setbacks.

So here it is! On the left side column, just before the types of people you will encounter.

I'm One Of You, Queers

I’m here for you, buddies.

I won’t agree and roll with everything that the movement brings, but I’ve been for the cause since the early 90s. And if I’m gonna be judging anything, it’d be the same stuff I’d judge anyone and everyone for. (If you know what I mean.)

Let’s stay bold, sharp, and colorful!

New Module: Queer

And another new module has been incorporated! Just as I am out of the closet, so should this section be. Giving more visibility to my queer-related content now. I’d very much like to show my support as an ally and as one of us.

So here it is! On the left side column, just after everything else.

You Do Require The Time OFF & AWAY

There’s a twisted appeal to keeping people as tired and bored as they can be. This is not merely “hustling” or “hyperfixating”, which can be meaningful work that is stimulating and regenerative; it is literally self-destruction. This is how you lose touch with your humanity, how you stop making important questions and finding correct answers, how the pain signals and alerts shut down, how you become controllable and convenient. And your reward? Wasting your life while believing that you’re making the most of it.

But whether this programming and conditioning is intentional or not, strategically crafted to keep you obedient or simply misguided attempts to push forward, don’t abuse, neglect, and betray yourself like that. Especially if you’re the type of person whose work revolves around coming up with ideas, thinking critically, and examining your feelings, you ought to unplug. Give yourself a REAL break.

This may mean, even if only briefly:
- Turning off notifications.
- Stepping away from stressful and draining areas and devices.
- Giving yourself a change of scenery.
- Allowing yourself not to carry the world on your shoulders.
- Treating yourself to pleasures you had put off.

Even as a workaholic who dreads a lack of productivity, you could find it worthwhile when it resets you to optimal conditions to be your most productive. Both inspiration and motivation could return tenfold.

The higher the quality of your vacation, the quicker it can restore you.
Just know when enough is enough, so it propels rather than deters you.

New Module: Vacations

Another new module has been incorporated! Well, an extension to an already existing module. It’s another category within the Study Room. Because nobody can do without their due vacations. I’ll be filling it up over time like I’ve been doing with the rest.

So here it is! On the left side column, just at the end of the Study Room.

The Year Got Kickstarted For Sure

From the beginning of this year to what I define as the end of spring, I seem to have reached a closing point to give way to a clear slate. It went sort of like this:

ADVENTURES:
• Reconnecting with the person who helped me mend and grow my spine.
• Oddly and amazingly, crossed paths again with my appreciation for kickboxing and its embodiment.
• Novels I heard of long ago were suddenly brought back up and it was magical to read them again. I may despise other novels in the same genre (or forced/rushed reading in general), but these were so diehard.
• After searching the town for a new place, ended up moving to where I wouldn’t have guessed and it turned out for the better (best location for my preferences). As a bonus, the neighbors are lovely!
• Claiming the soft life with all that it implied and entailed, even beyond my own awareness.

MISADVENTURES:
• Couldn’t be the karma (or was I partly somehow? *shrugs*) to a person who terribly wronged me, but they’ve been self-destructing so… I don’t have to be anymore. I guess? It’s getting pitiful.
• Good manners? What are those these days? Can’t count on them existing. Absolutely baffling the lack of decency. I’d feel foolish but I insist that it’s a them problem. ‘Cause WTH. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?!
• Stalkers can stalk… for a veeeeeeery long time. I don’t get how they’re not bored. I would be on the 5th day. I do not relate at all and can barely wrap my head around it, but glad I know more of the extent of it.
• Our black cat and the stray brown-ish cat we took in became buddies? Maybe he got pestered into it. IDK. But sure lost the cuddliness thanks to that other cat’s restlessness.
• Tech is getting craaaaaazyyy. And that’s an understatement. It’s concerning but I can’t do anything about it other than watch it all unfold. USA and China seem to be racing to cut edge and dominate, though.

It could have been worse. It could have been a seemingly endless, repetitive and tedious period of lame filler. But… getting better at swiftly escaping those at the early signs. This was a plot advancement concise enough. How did it go for you?

Would You Trade Away The Adventure?

I’m often frustrated by the twists of fate, keeping me from making steady progress, and sending me on adventures (I may or may not have signed up for) that might turn out to be misadventures. But when all is done and I can indeed get and be back on track, I do have to wonder. Would I trade that period for more of this, or was it worth it after all?

Of course, I will never excuse, let alone congratulate, anyone for any intentionally harmful mischief that threw me or others off. And I will not prolong a detrimental situation if it can be helped. However, quite often, I don’t leave empty-handed. As usual, there are lessons. Frequently, there are opportunities. And sometimes, there’s much more.

In any case, I never claimed to be an example to follow. If you know me, my M.O. pretty much consists of going off into the unknown, getting in trouble, figuring the way through, and coming out of trouble (with or without aid, with the same or new allies). I do have regrets. Yet, they’re what keep me ever changing and evolving.

New Module: Adventures & Misadventures

A new module has been incorporated! I’ve had to acknowledge that adventures & misadventures are a recurring theme in my work. At least in terms of outlook and attitude, when going through my day-to-day. And because so much comes out of them, good and bad (and “good” and “bad”), I would like to log some of it.

So here it is! On the right side column, just above the Calendar.

Pride Protects Dignity

Pride is messy to have. Gotta have it in the right amount. For the right reasons. And even then, not let it take over you.

Too much pride has undesirable consequences. It can lead to arrogance, which blinds and deludes. It can also grant you an unmerited sense of superiority over others, placing you in a position of comparison. Furthermore, it might cause an attachment to what you’re basing it on, making you overly dependent on it and desperate without it. Pride, left unchecked, can be a lousy attempt at covering up and compensating for what you are, consciously or not, ashamed of or guilty about. It may be a defense mechanism that doesn’t hold up against truth.

However, pride does have a role to serve. Although, in my opinion, there should be a different word for this. See, when what you refer to as “pride” or as being “proud of” it is simply a recognition and appreciation of a fulfilling accomplishment or valuable quality, accompanied by the awareness that it doesn’t necessarily make you infallible, it is more an earned validation that you can give yourself. And when you can rightfully validate yourself, you can go from insecure to secure in yourself. It’s not just mere ego.

If you are constantly under attack… Insulted, mocked, ridiculed, and overall humiliated, the opposing force that commonly deflects or hits back is pride. You may automatically look for whatever you may have that could show or prove your worth. And often, this is fine - when you can keep your clarity and take all as it is. Rather than have your judgment clouded.

Usually, malicious and vicious people are skilled at spotting what would cause you to crumble. Maybe by a general script, knowing that others are normally uneasy about what makes them different from most, what makes them stand out and not quite fit in. And this is the case unless they’ve done the work to be completely unbothered. But maybe it is by being specifically particular about you and your profile, noticing what could shake you up or have you shaking. It’s horrendous and merciless.

So, yes, allow yourself to see all the ways in which you, instead, deserve respect, and to be treated with dignity. Let your pride be valid points and arguments that you can make in your defense. Or that quietly dismisses any undue offense.

Summer Once More

Summer arrives once more...
Do you know what that means?
It means we can slow down.
Take one or several breaks.
Relax, enjoy, and live a little.

Screw Treating Everyone The Same

Everyone is not the same. It may seem noble, but pretending as though they are is a recipe for disaster. Not only demoralizing, but also dangerous in application.

It isn’t so simple. Being guided by principles doesn’t necessarily require adopting and exercising black & white thinking that doesn’t take into account nuance nor context. Some things must be earned, things like trust and gratitude (for reciprocity). And some things can be forgiven, given that they are justified, excusable, or amended.

If you treat everybody the same, dismissing all that goes on that differentiates them, you fail to be fair. You also fail to be thoughtful, considerate, and ultimately wise. And by doing so, you discourage stellar behavior and encourage lousy behavior. You may lose the best of the best. Because why bother doing anything extra if it is not even going to be acknowledged? All the attention, the effort, and the resources that go into being your best self do not really amount to anything. You’re making it so it’d be ridiculous to be personally invested and care.

Furthermore, for your own sanity and safety, and for the sake of a functioning environment, you must have properly defined where everybody around you stands. So that you can continue to engage in dynamics, foster and maintain bonds, and reduce the chances of harm done to you and/or others. E.g. don’t give a knife to somebody who’s likely to stab you with it and don’t let somebody who’s unqualified perform surgery on you.

Compassion can kick in and make you feel sorry for one person or two. But that’s when you should ask yourself if that compassion is directed where it is merited. Awful people are frequently the loudest criers, seeking sympathy without guilt or shame, so that they don’t have to take accountability or face the consequences of their actions (or inactions). Meanwhile, those affected by them end up having to just endure them, endlessly. Ideally, everybody would be and do well, but as long as that’s not the reality, it can get harsh.

That said, what are some distinctions to make among you?
• Rulemaker
• One who Passed (Yet honored regardless)
• Veteran
• Newbie
• Significant Other
• Best Friend
• Close Friends
• Part of Your Community
• Someone who Donates Money
• Someone who Donates Another Kind of Value
• Someone who Participates in The Fight
• Spiritual Healer
• Psychological/Physiological Healer
• Disabled (temporarily or permanently)
• Children (plenty of growing up left)
• Lecturer
• Sprinkler
• Learner
• Clues & Evidence Spotter
• Under Investigation
• In a Straitjacket
• Behind Bars
• Owing Service
• Expelled

• Potential Opportunity (prone to let down or downright scam)
Etc. You get the idea.

If these could be badges/buttons, which and how many would you rightfully wear?
You may fall into one or more of these categories. Perhaps you can dominantly identify yourself with one, with some vague overlaps with others. Or you can see yourself as multifaceted and fully fit several. You may also be stepping in and out of them, depending…

Once you’ve identified where you and others belong in, be sure to ponder more about what it could imply or entail. Example 1: Veterans have done much work long before the newbies and, whether or not they are disabled, that excuses them from having to do more work in order to be recognized as priceless contributors. Example 2: It is understandable, and deserving of patience, that children aren’t yet mature enough to expect so much of them, but they are nonetheless expected to grow up. Example 3: The Clues & Evidence Spotter may be neutral and “switch sides”, as this ‘title’ and its ‘job description’ don’t inherently create ties.

In my case, the Potential Opportunity brings me mixed feelings every time it appears. I am aware that success though it is not as guaranteed as sticking to my already existing plans and the results they’ll eventually yield. However, because it shows (or pretends at) the possibility of significantly more accomplishment (faster, better, greater) than I would achieve otherwise, I feel obligated to at least check it out (if not just for me, then for those who have helped or currently help me). This has led to both incredible gains and regrettable losses. And since I’ve already had my share of the latter, I’m now forced to be more strict with it (be more transactional, less faithful; a lot of people have no decency these days). I don’t prefer it because I enjoy treating strangers with manners, and as innocent until proven guilty, but I’ll have to weave in firmer boundaries while kindly stating why they’re there.

What is it like for you?

Posting Streak

As things get more and more active, particularly online, please remember to post only as much as you’re fine with.

I can bet that plenty of your readers/viewers love your posts and would like you around every day, getting your valuable input or just having you there, but burning out or taking away too much from your craft in order to be present would be no good. Aim for sustainability (over FOMO).

You can post whenever, even several times in the same day (I avoid excessive posting because I’m with the introspective crowd, though, and care more about substance than chitchat - or worse). But you can also, probably (depending on what you do exactly), post once a day, 2-3 times a week, or once a week - and still be engaging more than enough. You can as well schedule posts that come up regardless of what is going on, that are evergreen or not intended toward any current topic being widely discussed (identifiably so), while you’re off elsewhere if you must keep your account active.

What’s worse than missing you? You getting overwhelmed and/or exhausted and quitting altogether!
Some of us (🙋) will keep being inconsistent and unpredictable except for, maybe, what goes up on its own...

Fruitful Discussions NOT Echo Chambers

If it is not personal, do not take it personally. Skepticism and disagreements shouldn’t be considered insults and there’s only so much tact one can have before it turns counterproductive in an exchange of views and opinions.

Undeniably, there are times when people are malicious or just resentful and they will say painful and/or poisonous things, subtly or obviously so, and it is important to catch (and counter) ill-wills of that sort rather than ignore or even deny them, basically enabling or employing gaslighting. But when it is a matter of a person being clear, direct, or just not going out of their way to soften and sweeten their message or deliver it in the most sophisticated form, it should be given leeway.

This is not to say that being gentle and delicate, accommodating even, is never needed along with wanted. Maybe someone has gone through too much already and could use some safety from anything that could disturb them. Or maybe someone has the potential to listen and realize more but you must get past their triggers and defenses to get to them. In such cases, this kind of sensitivity is not only allowed but sought after.

We do have to check ourselves and our ego at the door. It is comforting to believe that you are always right, that you’ve never made a mistake, and that therefore your word is Law. Everyone should just go with whatever you say, wrong as it may be. And how dare they defy you?

Such arrogance and entitlement will keep you, and possibly those around you, ignorant. When it comes to discussions that are expected to be fruitful, your mindset shouldn’t be about convincing yourself and others of your supposed superiority. Your mindset should be about getting as close to the truth as possible. And if you were mistaken about anything, you’d be fortunate to have been corrected sooner rather than later. The deepest and greatest thinkers will appreciate your ability to admit your mistakes and course-correct.

Likewise, just as others can correct you, you should be able to correct others. And for that, there must be a degree of confidence to share your input. Perhaps you are more than 95% sure of your claims, so you must be “stubborn” and adamant about them. And perhaps you’re not that sure, but must still put it out for consideration. In both cases, you’re adding constructively. The shape and form in which you choose to communicate is for you to tailor, so that it can also have a positive effect on you (as you engage) and in others (as they are engaged).

Echo chambers, where you’re constantly affirming and reinforcing your faulty beliefs, can be addicting. Much easier to handle, too. It is no wonder that so many prefer to be within them. But they stomp on growth and halt progress.

How Advanced are We Really?

It has come to my attention and it has been weighing on my mind just how rapidly and unmitigatedly technology is advancing. And it’s taking me by surprise that even someone like me, who’s always been enthusiastic about technology, and essentially discoveries and innovation that could take us all further, or just keep us from being stuck in the old same, now finds it concerning.

Why? Well, there are a few things to consider beyond the obvious.

• You could keep up with all the latest news and updates about technology and you still wouldn’t know exactly and for sure just how ahead things are. It’s only rational to believe that it’s most likely that only a tiny fraction of what’s been achieved comes out to the public. For various reasons, including and not limited to testing, marketing, finances, war, preferring only a few know of and have it, etc.

• You would assume that progress made within technology keeps up the same pace throughout the years, but that’s not the case at all. When there are breakthroughs, especially significant ones that propel what follows, the pace accelerates, perhaps exponentially. And now with AI feeding itself and evolving with all the available information we have so far, along with who knows what else, you cannot expect it to be a slow dance. Maybe it’ll hit a few short pauses here and there, but it’ll keep rolling.

• You can bet technology can solve most, if not all, problems in the world. And it could. But will it? It depends on whose hands it is and what they are willing to do with it. There’s no denying that instances in which it has been helpful to humanity, even at the cost of what’s not so altruistic, exist. Demolishing what was established and making way for what’s more convenient to the people. But a lot of the time, it’s as though it’s minimal, only enough to ease the unrest. And at this rate, they might not bother as much or at all anymore with that.

• You have knowledge and wisdom accessible like never before, yet we’re getting dumber. And that’s what happens when you indiscriminately mix information with misinformation and disinformation while devising and maintaining systems that incentivize attention-seeking behaviors more than they do thorough research and reflection. Call it what you will, but what we have popularized right now is not fostering a decent education for the majority. It’s not that everyone should be erudite, but at least not get the facts so jumbled up or swept under the radar. (Not to mention, rumors say that we’re more likable when we're dumb.)

• You are very much replaceable. And this is more and more true as robots and machines continue to copy us and outdo us. What I wonder then is… Why keep us after all? What is going to keep us here when all’s accomplished? If only the abusive decide, what happens when they no longer have use for us? It could get quite messed up, covertly or overtly. If I indulge in wishful thinking, though, they wouldn’t be ruling and there’d be a utopia instead - or at least a more pleasant life for all. But then again… *gestures to what we have*

I’m not gonna lie, this is heavy stuff that’s been bothering me and I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But I figure that, nonetheless, it should be considered for the matter is… already here. And as maddening as it can be, taking this (and more) into account can keep you sane.

There’s a defeating powerlessness that comes with it, when you realize that there’s very little that you can do to set and guide the course towards more favorable outcomes, other than making contributions and hoping enough of others do too, and might just have to accept the inevitable. 

However, if it is of any consolation, you still have time to live in the current reality. Go and do the things you’ve always wanted to do; not with reckless abandon, but with the intention to stop postponing them so much. So that when/if drastic changes arrive that render them unattainable, you can embrace them as a new chapter, able to let go of the previous one fulfilled, ready to begin handling what is next in store.

I’m somebody who can often be consumed by intrigue and fascination, so even grim scenarios may be tolerable sometimes, and that’s indeed an asset for survival. But if you can fight to make things objectively better for yourself and those around you, however you’re capable, when it gets rough, then do. Don’t just passively welcome and adapt to anything and everything.