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Some people prefer to work alone and some people prefer to work in groups. There are pros and cons to both, but sometimes we don’t have a choice.
Working in groups, there are countless ways in which things could go wrong or just not run smoothly. Working alone, well, if you’re diligent, you can get it done, but it may be lacking. Who doesn’t have one or more outlandish stories about that time when they worked in a group? Insufferable in the moment, laughable in hindsight. And who doesn't have an instance when they worked alone, only to then look at a group's work with wonder and admiration while falling short? Or just wished their time had been shared to be more memorable.
In the event of having to work in a group, you don’t always get to choose who you’re working with. In fact, you rarely do. People are included or they include themselves. And unless there’s an irrefutable reason to kick them out, you’ll have to put up with it. Don’t get it wrong, many can be wonderful. Or just worth the trouble. But quite frankly, some can be a complete waste of space.
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Frustration and disappointment can be expected. Someone might be too lazy, another might be too incompetent, another too irresponsible, and another as if cursed with the worst luck. Then, if any work gets done, it is because of the few hard and smart workers who pulled through regardless.
The hard and smart workers will tell you that they’d much rather you stay out of the way if you will only complicate matters and instead simply let them handle it. However, ideally, everyone would be able to carry their own weight or at least add their own spice. Yet, what is most unbearable is having somebody meddling, causing distractions and delays, only to not really contribute anything of substance to make up for it. These workers might even be charitable and personally select and include somebody who’s falling behind and cannot do much, and gladly help them out, but will not welcome somebody who, while capable, does no more than get in the way.
You can call it rude and "not being very nice". But the reality of it is that work is work, not play. If playing is what you all are doing, then you may have a valid argument for being more laid back about it and fooling around. Nevertheless, when people are invested (especially intensely so) in making progress and seeing results, indifference (particularly the sort that sabotages) can be detestable.
Ironically, it is usually those least willing to put in the work that are most drawn to group work, so that others will pick up their slack or just for the heck of messing with everyone and everything. So beware of that and take the measures you must.
Groups form as work to tend to arises. See when you can opt in to lend a hand. And opt out when your hands are full.
