When You're Being Watched

Nothing like being watched to bring back your inhibitions. Suddenly, things you forgot or weren’t even aware you were insecure about are making you self-conscious. It makes you nervous, cripplingly so, and embarrassed, to further your detriment.

A lot of the time, however, we are being too harsh on ourselves, too nitpicky. Maybe because we know that others will be so. But even if they are, should it matter that much? Isn’t that a THEM issue rather than a YOU issue? And if that’s the case, maybe you could use more self-acceptance, coming to terms with the things you don’t like so much about yourself or even learn to appreciate them if they can be.

Confidence, not arrogance, can go a long way in immunizing you to unkind stares. Remembering that you’re the whole package and, unless there’s something seriously wrong about you, to be truly concerned about, you’re not some sort of freak of nature that’s failing so badly at being within what’s normal or, if actually odd or outstanding, failing at what can be considered worthwhile. Therefore, any cruel judgments are unmerited.

Nevertheless, we may want to put our best forth. If not for those who love us, then at least to not give the satisfaction to those who hate us of seeing us at our worst. If that’s the case, preparation and improvements could be due.

We could also benefit from tuning out. If you can trust that you will operate according to your standards, being attuned to what others might be perceiving and interpreting would be needless and counterproductive, holding you back from flowing smoothly.

Furthermore, have solid arguments in your defense. For any incoming attacks aimed at any vulnerability, or what might look like such, so you can’t be hit and thrown off. You don’t necessarily have to debate it, you don’t have to explain yourself either, but you should definitely have them for yourself so that you can remain unbothered.

Another trick is to return the humiliation. However, that’s not a very ‘zen’ thing to do. It is effective, though. If anyone’s giving you nasty stares over something of yours, give them some back over something of theirs.

Ideally, you’d have enough privacy to not have your guard up all the time, but when you’re being watched, at least this much can make it manageable.