Phew! I can’t believe I’m still standing, but I am. When I decided to go on this mission, of essentially being Art’s #1 supporter, or just someone devoted to the whole ‘Unbridling & Sustaining Artistic Abilities’, I had no idea how much it implied and entailed. I knew it was a vast world of possibilities for studying and making content that I could be forever passionate about, and that was more than thrilling to me, but damn! It is certainly not without obstacles and opposition.
Yet, it still remains a grand and profoundly invigorating purpose for me. During my ‘Exploring & Experimenting’ period, I could be so discouraged, worrying I would never find My Thing™, and it could be depressing and anxiety-inducing. Now that I’m finally where I can believe I’m meant to be, it can be tough and it can be tricky, but still what I want to be doing and who I need to be.
So much has happened, and is still happening, since that moment I could first ‘lock in’ and start giving it my all in one definite direction, that it is nearly impossible to fully recount. Yes, I can seem scattered, but you can trust that it is all connected and aligned. However, despite and because of it, it doesn’t cease to be the most epic adventure I could have possibly embarked on.
Did things go as I initially expected them to? Nope. It’s like that saying, over and over again, “We make plans and God laughs at them.” But, in this case, it’s more like he sighs and goes, “Child, there are far greater things in store for you.” And he’s right. Not without plenty of eye-opening and character-developing experiences, though! Frustrating, to say the least. Yet, with all things considered, ultimately worthwhile.
I’ve always cared about getting stronger, wiser, braver. Perhaps to a fault, because that path isn’t compatible with other, also desirable, paths (and their rewards). And that’s what I’ve been getting the most. Often, not even as my own choice. Nonetheless, this time, it is manifesting in a way that it isn’t breaking me. And credit where credit is due: I have a hand in that, too.
The crazy thing is that, when you’re resolute about championing a cause that is greater than yourself, you will be pleasantly and unpleasantly surprised by all the allies and enemies that will show up. And all the work that corresponds with this. Sounds dramatic, but this barely begins to cover it.
Would I do it all over again? Heck no. But do I regret it? HECK NO.
I only ask to be capable of continuing for as long as I ought to.
