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Monday, February 26, 2024

Where it Begun

I wanted to do something special as a way of marking the beginning of what I should have done long ago but I'm only now allowing myself to: doing Performing Arts to my heart's content, as I've been yearning for, for how fulfilling it is to me. So I went back to where it started. Kind of, because, technically, it all started in front of a TV. 

This is the National Conservatory of Music, this is where I used to regularly perform as a member of my school's choir and choreography groups. It was all so magical to me then. It still is for me today. And I'm glad I could capture some of it 30 years later. 

I still remember what it was like for me, the excitement of hearing which songs we would be performing next, what roles we would get, and all that went into rehearsing over and over again - not only until we got it right, but until we couldn't get it wrong. That and how divine it was when it was all properly assembled and happening at last. 

Performing Arts isn't for the weak. You must be passionate about it, yes, but people often forget to mention how much discipline it also takes. And if you think about it, it IS insane to devote to it. Still, I'm amazed by those mad enough to pursue it, whether for the trance state in the process, for the static state at the outcome, or both. 

This is something that some of us not only want in our lives, but NEED. Because we would be miserable otherwise, as it is an undeniable part of ourselves. I wish I had understood this sooner so I would have never given it up instead of constantly looking for ways to justify it to myself and to others - and failing. Sometimes figuring out what you must do is as simple as doing what you love merely because you love it and that's enough. We need to do what we love. If not fully, at least partly. 

Truth be told, to a degree, it indeed is a privilege to be able to pursue Performing Arts. So if you can't or couldn't do it, that's understandable. It's how it was for me. But if you find yourself with moments to spare and craving for it, maybe you should stop putting it off. Make your inner child happy and leave your deathbed you without regrets. 

There's the risk of crippling, paralyzing, and intensely painful perfectionism biting back. Regardless, that can be overcome so that instead you can eagerly look forward to every bit of progress you make - including noticing what you could be doing better. I'm not saying it's easy, I'm saying it's doable. 

I won't get the years that passed back. And admittedly, they weren't all lacking as I did get to occupy myself with other passions of mine. But I'm overjoyed for the years I still have left to indulge in how wonderful Performing Arts (and Music in particular) is...